


the perfect stranger

by downmoon



Series: the family album [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Daisuga Week 2015, M/M, MY ONE TRUE WEAKNESS, Post-Divorce, Shouyou and Tobio are kids, family au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-30
Updated: 2015-12-04
Packaged: 2018-05-03 09:40:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 25,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5285870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/downmoon/pseuds/downmoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There’s a man standing outside Suga's door.<br/>Scratch that. Start over.<br/>There’s a man he doesn’t know standing outside his door, holding his sleeping nephew in one arm, with another kid clinging tightly to his free hand.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Flenser](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flenser/gifts).



> so flenser and I make up AUs when we're bored at work. this is the result of an AU that gripped me tight and didn't let go.

 

There’s a man standing outside his door.

Scratch that. Start over.

There’s a man he _doesn’t know_ standing outside his door, holding his sleeping nephew in one arm, with another kid clinging tightly to his free hand.

It’s not late; for the kids, yes, but Suga keeps strange hours, and 9:30’s just the beginning of the night for him, so he can’t blame fatigue for the way his brain goes fuzzy at the sight of Handsome Man. But then awareness kicks in with a vengeance, and his brain is chanting _Shouyou Shouyou Shouyou,_ his heart caught somewhere in his throat, anxiety and fear and lethal anger all stirring up in him at the same time.

Shouyou stirs, and looks over at him with bleary eyes, muttering “Suga-chan,” and holding his arms out, flopping bonelessly over Suga’s shoulder when he takes him, and slipping effortlessly back into sleep. With Shouyou in his arms, the panic dissipates somewhat; the severity of what could have been a situation lessens with Shouyou safely in his care. His heart still thunders, though, beating frantic against the confines of his ribs.

“Okay,” he says, very quietly, forcing steadiness into his voice, “I’d like to know who you are and why you showed up at my door. _How_ you showed up at my door.”

“I’m sorry,” Handsome Man says, equally hushed, his face slipping into agitation, “Shouyou’s mom was supposed to pick him up at 6-”

Suga groans.

Of course she flaked.

“-but she didn’t show, and I tried calling her, but she didn’t answer, and it was getting late, and Shouyou kept talking about his uncle who ‘lived in the building with the cool shark on the side!’ so I took a chance that you actually lived here-”

Handsome Man stops talking when the little boy with him tugs on his hand, and he makes some kind of paternal noise and scoops the boy up. Suga suddenly feels guilty for being angry, shifting Shouyou around in his own arms, wondering what he would've done if he were in the same position.

"Why don't you two come in?"

"No, we'll just head out, I'm sorry-"

"No, please, just- I'll put Shouyou down. Make yourselves comfortable, honestly."

He swings the door open wider, and Handsome Man looks at him hesitantly, before he relents and steps inside. It's not the first time Suga's let a stranger into his home, and it's not even the most unusual circumstance, but it still throws him for a terrible loop. He’s acutely aware of a voice inside his head reminding him that people don’t just invite strangers in, but he ignores it.

Shouyou is still out cold when Suga lays him down, flopping out like a little starfish over his dinosaur bedspread. It makes Suga smile. He fluffs the hair and kisses the forehead and closes the door to the spare bedroom as gently as possible, and steps back into his living room to deal with Handsome Man.

“I’m sorry,” he says immediately to the stranger who’s standing awkwardly in front of the closed door, dark-haired little boy draped over his shoulder, “please come in. Can I get you anything, tea or something?”

“No, we really should go-” he says, shifting the boy in his arms.

“Oh, right, yeah, it’s late. Um, let me give you cab money-”

“No, no, that’s totally unnecessary. I’m parked right out front.”

“But you’ve done so much for Shouyou!” Suga says, cringing a little at the desperation that’s trickled into his voice. “Let me do _something_ for you.”

“It’s alright,” Handsome Man says, a smile creeping across his face. “I’m just glad I was able to get him home.”

Suga stares at him a little more intently than is necessary -honestly, can he be blamed?- before a weak grin of his own appears, and he lets the issue drop.

“Well...thank you. I’m terribly grateful that you took such good care of Shouyou.”

“It’s not a problem. I’m Daichi, by the way, Sawamura Daichi, and this is my son, Tobio.”

“Oh my god, I completely forgot! Uh, just call me Suga.”

“Suga, yeah, um, Shouyou told me. Well, we’ve got to be going-”

“Right. Well, thank you again.”

“Yeah. Absolutely, Suga.”

_No. Stop your pining. You are a responsible adult. This is responsible adult stuff, not high school._

Still, even with his mental beratement, Suga can’t stop the lurch his chest gives when Sawamura looks up at him and smiles again. 

It’s just such a nice smile.

“I’m sorry. It’s a pain, I know.”

“No, it’s fine, really.”

No wedding ring. That’s interesting.

_Suga, stop it this instant!_

Tobio squirms in Sawamura’s arms, and the gentle way he pats the little boy’s back almost makes Suga fall head over heels on the spot.  But he crushes those traitorous thoughts, and gets the door for Sawamura, and waves goodbye, all like a responsible adult and not at all like a hopeless romantic. 

 

* * *

 

Daichi’s in trouble.

 _Technically,_ he shouldn’t be the one who’s in trouble. _He’s_ not the one who hasn’t picked up the phone after thirteen phone calls, _he’s_ not the one who has yet to pick up his kid, _he’s_ not the one dealing with the mother of all tension headaches coming on-

Oh no, wait, that one is him.

“Shouyou,” he says, “what are we gonna do?”

Shouyou looks up at the sound of his name, but goes back to his blocks and his one-sided conversation with Tobio, who’s growing less interested by the second, veering closer to irritation. It’s understandable, really; Tobio’s wind-down routine has been interrupted by Shouyou, who seemingly has no off switch.

Daichi sighs and rubs a hand over his face, and tries for the fourteenth time to call Shouyou’s mother. He doesn’t bother to leave a message, just like he hadn’t the last eight times he got nothing but a voicemail. After he hangs up, Tobio’s decided he’s had enough, and throws a block in Shouyou’s direction.

“Alright boys, time to clean up please,” he says, before Tobio can wreak too much havoc with his little hands on the block tower. Daichi ducks down the hall to see what Tobio has that might fit Shouyou. He’s so small, though, that’s gonna be an issue. There’s a spare toothbrush, and there’s definitely a futon stuffed in a closet, somewhere-

“What are you doin’?”

Daichi turns around, and sees Shouyou looking up at him, a block in hand.

“Are you done cleaning up the blocks?”

“Yep! What are you doin’?”

“I’m looking to see if Tobio has any clothes that will fit you.”

“Why?”

“ ‘Cause you’re gonna spend the night with us.”

“Here?”

“Mhmm.”

Tobio still has that stash of clothes somewhere. In the closet maybe? There’s got to be something that’ll fit Shouyou-

“But I don’t wanna spend the night here. I wanna stay at Suga-chan’s!”

Shouyou looks confused when he shouts- always shouting- this at Daichi, like he can’t understand why he’d be staying the night here and not at _Suga-chan’s_ , whoever that is.  
  
But…

“Who’s Suga-chan, Shouyou?” he says, and almost laughs at the way Shouyou’s face lights up. He’s always pretty lit up, naturally cheerful and curious and wide-eyed about almost everything, but this takes his energy to a whole new level.

“Su-ga-wa-ra Kou-shi! Apartment Number 4! Ooka...um...road...Tokyo!” 

“Is this your mom’s friend?”

“Mama’s _brother_. He makes shrimp an' juice an' we make animals!"

Shouyou's never not shouting, but his voice gets exponentially louder, somehow, chanting _Suga-chan! Suga-chan!_ and stomping his feet. Tobio appears in the doorway with a scowl and tiny grabby hands reaching for Daichi, but he refuses to walk around Shouyou's parade in the middle of the floor.

Daichi has all the makings for A Situation, one meltdown-prone child and one hyperactive kid that doesn't belong to him, and the two of them are about to set each other off, if he doesn't do something.

"Let's settle down, Shouyou. Time to get ready for bed."

“But I don’t wanna go to bed! I wanna see Suga-chan!”

“I don’t know where Suga-chan lives-”

“I do!!! Apartment 4! Ooka...gama, with the shark on the side!”

Daichi’s surprised how that kind of makes sense, because he can picture the apartment building on Ookayama, the one that Tobio always stares at if they go by. 

Well, no harm in a little drive.

 

Turns out Shouyou’s off switch is car rides, which means he has to wrangle one dead-asleep child out of Tobio’s old booster seat, and make sure the other one holds tight to his hand. Which means he can’t really be bothered to feel quite as bad as he _maybe_ should when one of the building’s tenants holds the door open for him, thus saving him from the trouble of actually figuring out how to get into the building. It’s convenient, really, although his nonchalance about slipping into a stranger’s apartment building is a little worrying.

But then again, he’s not thinking too hard on it, since Tobio’s whining just about every other step and trying to get Daichi to pick him up, and Shouyou’s dead weight is slowly putting his arm to sleep. It’s not until they make it to the top of the stairs and in front of Apartment 4 that Daichi starts to have hesitations, because what if this isn’t actually Shouyou’s uncle, what if his mom is at the house right now, do people just _do_ this with other people’s kids-

But it’s too late to back out now because the door’s opening-

And then Daichi relaxes a little, because he sees the resemblance right away. _Suga-chan_ has the same wide, brown eyes, the same expressive mouth that he sees on Shouyou’s face, and probably the same mischievous smile, if he were to make that expression. But he’s not smiling; he looks, rather, a little panicked, and Daichi remembers _oh yeah, not my kid_. Of course, Shouyou, with impeccable timing, chooses that moment to stir a little, muttering “Suga-chan” in a sleepy little voice and going easily into his arms, where he promptly falls back asleep.

“Okay,” Suga says softly, “I’d like to know who you are and why you showed up at my door. _How_ you showed up at my door.”

This, of course, is the part of the night when Daichi loses all semblance of control. Not when Shouyou’s mom doesn’t answer the phone, or when the night keeps marching forward, or when Tobio threw a block- no, it has to be in front of the attractive stranger whose door he just showed up at.

“I’m sorry,” Daichi starts out with, which is good, as he seems to be relaxing more by the second, but then his mouth just goes, and he _knows_ he’s babbling, but he can’t find it in himself to stop, until Tobio squeezes his hand, and he’s brought jarringly back to reality; it’s almost 10, Tobio’s still awake, shit, he’s going to be grumpy in the morning, and there’s daycare-

He picks up Tobio, who instantly curls against him, and watches how Suga’s face nearly melts from cautious hostility to sympathy.

"Why don't you two come in?" Suga says, tone making it sound like _he’s_ the one that just showed up on somebody else’s doorstep.

"No, we'll just head out, I'm sorry-"

"No, please, just- I'll put Shouyou down. Make yourselves comfortable, honestly."

Suga opens the door a little wider, until Daichi does finally step inside, and he disappears inside his apartment. It’s a nice little place, cozy, not overly neat, but not overly messy, either. There’s a few toys in odd places, a couple of mugs on a bookshelf and the cabinet holding the TV, but it’s nice; warm and lived-in and inviting. Daichi feels very awkward thinking these things about someone he doesn’t know.

He feels even more awkward when he leaves, because, as adept as he is at reading people, he’s not sure _what_ to think about Suga, who is either the most sincere person on the face of this earth, or is the absolute best at putting on a front. He’s never met someone who appears to be as genuine and empathetic as Suga is, and it sets him on edge, like he was waiting the entire duration of their short conversation for Suga to slip up, and really lay into him. He _should_ give Suga the benefit of the doubt, or maybe just shut off that annoying part of his brain that always makes him jump to conclusions, but he _can’t,_ because he’s too used to seeking out the worst in people and their personalities.

It’s why he makes such a good manager.

That, and his lung power, his boss says.

Well, whatever. Suga _seemed_ nice enough, so he’ll leave it at that for now.

 

* * *

 

Suga _does not_ think about Sawamura Daichi for a solid week after he showed up with Shouyou in his arms, no sir, he does not. He also doesn’t spend the week rethinking the love interest in his latest draft, imagining him tall, but not too tall, broad-shouldered, dark-featured, and wonderfully domestic. He doesn’t daydream about this new character while meeting with his editor, or his manager, or when he gets dragged into a luncheon with the CEO of the publishing company. No way, he wouldn’t do that.

It’s been an embarrassing week.

He just can’t _help_ it. Sawamura ticks off all the boxes he’s been holding out for, and it _does_ things to him, dredging up all these hopeful, hopeless, desperately _romantic_ feelings he has tucked away, even though he knows better.

Oh, does he ever know better.

Still, he convinces himself that he can’t help it when he surreptitiously looks around the daycare when he drops Shouyou off in the mornings, hoping for a glance of dark hair and broad shoulders. But Tobio’s always there before Shouyou, and Tobio’s always gone by the time Suga’s picking Shouyou up at the end of the day, and thus, Sawamura Daichi remains elusive. Which is a shame, really, because Suga’d love to actually have a conversation with him, maybe get his number-

“Sugawara Koushi, are you listening to me?”

“Huh? Yeah…”  
  
“You aren’t. You’re daydreaming. Again. Don’t try to deny it, I know that look you get when you’re off in space.”

“Tooru, come on, I’m totally listening.”

Suga smiles when Tooru _hmphs_ , bratty little nose stuck up in the air in his worst impression of offense. Really, he can do better than that.

“Here I am, pouring my soul out to you, and you can’t even be bothered to listen.”

“Tooru, you were talking about ‘Iwa-chan’ again. This isn’t an outpouring of your soul, nor is it a new topic of conversation. I’m pretty sure he hates that nickname, by the way.”

“He doesn’t. You wouldn’t know, since you’re too busy _ignoring_ people all the time.”

“Alright, so that time he said to me, and I quote, ‘I hate that nickname, can’t you get him to stop calling me _Iwa-chan?_ ’ means nothing.”

“Learn to read between the lines, Suga-chan.”

Suga snorts into his tea, not at all surprised that Tooru could justify _that_. 

“Aren’t you here for a meeting?”

“There’s my Suga-chan, always cutting the fun out of everything.”

“I do not!” Suga protests, but Tooru’s grinning.

If he could describe his relationship with Oikawa Tooru, which is near impossible, because Oikawa Tooru is many things, and does not neatly sum up into any easy category, Suga’d say it’s something like a fond exasperation at all times, with the occasional instance of brilliance and business technique that comes off as surprising, given how closely Suga knows him. He’s been Suga’s manager for three years, his self-declared best friend for two, and they’re both at the open, honest point with each other that it’s both surprising and unsettling that they keep secrets from each other.

Well, maybe not _secrets_. More like closely guarded information. 

“So, are you gonna tell me about him?” Tooru says lightly, pulling his date book and his humongous binder of notes out of his bag. It comes across casually, but with Oikawa Tooru, there is no casual. Everything has intent. Suga both admires and hates this.

“Wha-, ha, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, I’m very sure you do, Suga-chan. I know starry-eyed, and trust me, you are _it_.”

“I’m not-”

“Come _on_ , gimme details.”  
  
“No.”

“Oooh, so there _are_ details-”

“There are not!”

“-and you’re just refusing to give them to me.”

“There are not, Oikawa, dammit!  Hurry up with this meeting so I can get back to work!”

Tooru laughs, and spends the next forty minutes with a teasing smile on his mouth, while Suga gives him short, terse updates on the progress of his book.

He pushes Sawamura firmly from his mind after that, refusing to dwell on him any longer.  Shouyou goes back with his mother, and when Suga does have to pick him up from daycare, he doesn’t linger, instead focusing his sole attention on his nephew. He throws himself back into his work, and passes his writing goals everyday, even spending a solid twenty hours on his book one day, until Tooru drops by and makes him go to bed. He has a clarity, now that he’s been embarrassed by his own foolishness. He throws out all his notes on his Sawamura-imitation character, and gets himself firmly back into routine.

It’s good for a while, great even; Shouyou’s happy, his editor’s happy, _he’s_ happy, and Tooru’s...tolerable, even though he’s been trying to wheedle information out of Suga for weeks. Regardless, it’s a productive month.

And then Suga meets Sawamura Daichi at the daycare.

It’s one morning when he has Shouyou, and has to drop him off earlier than usual, because for once, he has a meeting that’s actually important, and not just meeting up with Tooru for coffee and listening to him whine about everything. He’s halfway through helping Shouyou with his shoes, Shouyou’s hand pulling on his hair for balance, when Suga sees a familiar scowly-faced boy reluctantly putting his things away in a cubby.

He looks up, and it’s like all his progress from the previous month just derails the minute he lays eyes on Sawamura again. 

He just has _so many_ appealing aspects.

“Suga-chan! My shoe!”

“Ah, yes. There we go, all set now. What do we say, Shou?”

“Thank you!”

Shouyou shoots off like a pint-sized rocket, his things half-stuffed into his cubby. Suga straightens them out until they fit, and stands up. He’s not ashamed to admit (to himself) that he stares at Sawamura while he can, until Tobio’s sorted out and wandering off to play after hugging his father. Sawamura’s gaze crosses over him, and his face lights up in recognition.

“Suga!” he says.

“Hello, Sawamura!” Suga says, and his mind internally screeches over how eager he sounds.

“Haven’t seen you here before.”

“Aha, yeah, it’s the time. Well, and the day, since I don’t always...it’s early, you know, earlier than I usually drop Shouyou off.”

_I’m babbling. Oh god Suga, don’t do this to yourself._

“So you...I mean, I don’t want to seem insensitive, but you take care of your sister’s kid sometimes?”

“Yes,” Suga says firmly, feeling himself prickle, “She needs help, so I help her. That’s what family does.”

Sawamura seems to regard him for a moment, and Suga meets his gaze evenly. Boldly, even. It’s decent progress given his state of mind three seconds ago.

“Sorry, it’s just kinda nerve-wracking dropping someone else’s kid off with an uncle I’ve never met.”

“We should exchange numbers.”

He blurts, literally _blurts_ this out, and there goes all his composure. He can feel his cheeks turning pink. 

“Uh-”

“If it happens again, I mean.”

“ _Oh_. Yeah, that’s a good idea.”

Maybe it’s not quite a recovery, but Suga _does_ leave with the tiniest of springs in his step, and just the thought of Sawamura’s number, sitting like a weight in his phone, gets him through a two-hour contract meeting in a stuffy room on a beautiful day.

Of course, the dizzy smile he wears throughout the two-hour meeting means Tooru corners him afterwards, demanding info, but Suga’s in such good spirits he bats him away effortlessly, and even manages to make _him_ pay for coffee.

But then, of course, after a successful day of work, and a free evening, the realities of how bad he is at things like _dating_ and _pursuing relationships_ come crashing down on him, and he spends an hour past when he should’ve gone to bed staring at his phone, willing some message from an attractive man to come out of it.

He’s been on lots of dates, but, as Tooru likes to remind him, he’s bad at dating.

“You’re already like half of an old married couple,” Tooru told him once, and Suga had slapped his arm for that, and gone on to hook up with the guy who’d been flirting with him all night _just to prove Tooru wrong_ , but when the guy left sometime in the middle of the night, and Suga’d felt a little hollow next to the cooling space in his bed, he knew Tooru was absolutely right. There was always something particular he wanted, which he’s never thought of as _bad_ , but it made for loneliness, and in all honesty he could do without it.

“Shit,” he mutters under his breath, squeezing his phone in hand before sighing, and thumbing through his contacts.

 

So it turns out that starting a phonecall with, “Tooru, what’s an appropriate amount of time to wait before you text someone?” at one in the morning is number one, not the most unusual conversation they’ve had, nor at the most unusual time, but leads to number 2- it will result in the most deafening shriek of noise that’s ever come out of Tooru’s mouth.

“You idiot! We talked about this last time you got a noise violation. You’re not crashing with me if your neighbors kick you out.”

_“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. But it’s not everyday your baby finally grows up.”_

“Oh my god.”

_“Tell me everything. I am begging here, Suga-chan.”_

“No.”

_“Please.”_

“No way. You harassed me earlier, I’m not telling you anything.”

_“Sugaaaaa-”_

“Ugh, you know what- forget I called. I’m going to bed, good _night_ ”

_“No! Suga, come on, let’s just have a conversation.”_

“No. You’ll just make fun of me again.”

And he says it in such a sad, pathetic little voice that the line actually goes quiet for a moment. Suga wishes he could reel it all back into his mouth and pretend it never happened. Vulnerability is one thing, but vulnerability with Tooru is entirely different.

 _“I won’t, I promise,”_ Tooru says, after another beat of silence. _“You’re really interested in this guy, yeah?”_

“I don’t want to talk about this.”

_“Okay, fair enough. You know I only harass you because I care, right?_

“Stop,” Suga whines, mushing his face into the bedspread.

 _“I won’t. It’s true. Sometimes you need a little help getting over yourself, that’s all. And because I’m the_ best _best friend ever, I gotta make sure you get there.”_

Suga doesn’t say anything, mulling over guilty feelings mixed with the annoyance of how easily Tooru can read him, and how close those words hit home.

_“But, just so you know, it’s 2015. Text whenever you want, and don’t wait around for him to make the first move. Just don’t harass him and you’ll be good.”_

“Oh, that’s reassuring, coming from you,” Suga says, his smile slipping into his voice. He can just picture Tooru draped over his bed and switching from gentle, sensitive mode to mouthy, know-it-all, unbearable mode.

_“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”_

“As if. I know how many times a day you call Hajime’s office.”

_“Someday he’s gonna take my calls again, Suga-chan, just you wait.”_

Suga lets the conversation wander, and it sits right on the tip of his tongue, _this guy, he’s one of the parents at Shou’s daycare,_ but then Tooru yawns, and then _he_ yawns, and they both consent that they should’ve been asleep about four hours ago. But he likes the noise of Tooru’s voice. It’s a comfort to him, driving away the loneliness and the doubt and the fragility of late-night revelations. He drifts off sometime around three, maybe, realizing after five minutes that the line’s gone dead, and Tooru’s no longer chattering away. He falls asleep with his phone in hand, on top of the bedspread.

 

A few days later, he’s done with agonizing over his insecurities, and men, and life in general. He punches out a quick, impulsive text, and hits _send_ before he loses his nerve.

 **To: Sawamura  
** **10:03 am**

 _shouyou’s been talking nonstop about the aquarium  
_ _maybe we can organize a playdate sometime?_

He hides his phone for the rest of the day and actually manages to forget about the text until he stops to eat that evening, and then is quite surprised, and a little delighted, to find a reply waiting for him.

 **From: Sawamura  
** **11:23 am**

_Yeah, definitely! Tobio would love that. We’ll coordinate sometime when you have Shouyou on a weekend._

Suga’s pleased how well he handles it, how his stomach flutters a little with excitement, thrill, but otherwise, he’s calm. Cool. He’s not standing in his kitchen doing a little dance for joy.

 **To: Sawamura  
** **6:07 PM**

_absolutely!_

Naturally, his schedule goes from open to slammed almost immediately, and besides a few sporadic texts between the two of them, Suga has no time to coordinate anything besides getting Shouyou to and from daycare. He even makes Tooru accompany him when he has to pick up Shouyou last minute, when they’re actually supposed to be having a meeting.

“All’s I’m saying is I don’t see why Mitsuo is such a pushover.”

“He’s not a pushover, Tooru, he’s attentive. It’s a different type of man. Yasu’s not used to it.”

“Yeah, but-”

“It’ll all come together in the end, just relax.”

“You never tell me the endings, though! I have to wait until your draft’s done.”  
  
“Of course. You’re on a need-to-know basis, and you don’t need to know the endings while the book’s still in progress.”

Tooru grumbles, and Suga smiles. He’s hardly paying attention to his surroundings, though, and when the door to the daycare swings open, he almost walks straight into it. Instead, he backs into Tooru, who squawks, but he’s hardly listening, because he almost ran into-

“Sawamura!”

He looks a little harried, Tobio holding onto one hand and a couple of bags in the other, but he looks up at the sound of his name, and the fatigue creeping around the edges of his face softens.

“Suga, hi! Must be pickup time, huh?”

“That time of day. I’m sure the teachers have had enough of Shouyou’s energy.”

“Ah, he _is_ quite energetic, isn’t he?”

“It’s exceptional, and exhausting.”

Sawamura laughs lightly, and it’s such a pleasant, honest sound that Suga finds himself smiling in response to it. He catches the noise of Tooru clearing his throat, and feels his body stiffen in nervousness.

“Um, Sawamura, this is Oikawa Tooru,” he says, gesturing behind himself. “Tooru, this is Sawamura Daichi and his son, Tobio.”

“Hello, Sawamura-kun! Hi, Tobio-chan!”

Suga has to bite his lip to keep from laughing at the way Tobio’s face scrunches up into a dark scowl at Tooru.

“Nice to meet you. I’d shake your hand but, uh…” He shakes the bags in his hand, one brightly colored, the other muted and distinctly _adult-_ looking. 

“Oh, it’s not a problem,” Tooru says, slinking ever-closer to Suga. “You’re obviously quite the busy guy.”

“Yes, well, it’s been one of those weeks.”

“And we’re keeping you,” Suga says, distraught that he hadn’t realized sooner.

“Well, I wish I could say otherwise, but we really do have to go. It was great to see you, though!  And meet you, Oikawa.”  
  
“Likewise.”

“We’ll do the aquarium soon.”  
  
“Yes, absolutely! Take care! Bye, Tobio!”

Suga darts through the door to the school as soon as Sawamura leaves. He’s hoping against all hope that he makes it to Shouyou’s classroom before Tooru can nab him, before-

“Suga-chaaaaaaaaan!”

That.

“Who was he, Suga-chan? How do you know him?”

“He’s just one of the parents. Shou’s friends with his son.”

“Is he the guy? Is this the one you’ve been _mooning_ over?”

“...If I say no, will you drop it.”

“I _knew_ it!”

Suga’s never been more grateful, for the sticky, playdoh-scented classroom in his _life._ The second he steps in, and is overwhelmed by the noise of shouting children, he can’t hear Tooru over their racket, and surprisingly enough, Tooru exercises a fair amount of discretion around little ones, waiting outside. 

He lets Shouyou’s precious joy wash over him, kneeling down to hug him when he comes rushing over. Shouyou needs no prompting to talk about his day, jamming his feet into his shoes and collecting his things and leaping from one topic to the next so quickly Suga almost struggles to keep up with him.

It’s only made worse when Suga opens the door to the classroom, and Shouyou spots Tooru waiting in the hallway for the both of them. He almost falls out of Suga’s arms after diving forward sharply, drawings in either hand and demanding that _Too-chan_ hold him. Suga trails behind the pair of them as they chatter back and forth, following the most winding, confusing conversation trail that ends when Tooru suggests ice cream.

“Absolutely not,” Suga says, glaring sharply at Tooru, who just stares innocently back.

“But Suga _-chan_ -” he starts.

“No. Shou has to eat dinner first. _You_ have to eat dinner first. You know how weird you get if you don’t eat real food, which has been happening way too often, by the way. I can’t deal with your... _food_ swings.”

“ _Please_ , Suga-chan! Shou-chan’s been such a good boy this week, hasn’t he?” Shouyou nods his head furiously when Tooru looks at him, his eyes open wide and serious, the prospect of ice cream too much for him to comprehend.

“Dinner…” Suga says weakly, two pairs of enormous brown eyes steadily wearing him down. It’s true that Shouyou probably needs a pick-me-up after his week, but Tooru had to go and suggest it.

“I’ll pay,” Tooru says.

“You’re not coming over,” Suga retorts. 

“Fine.”

“Ice cream, Suga-chan?” Shouyou says, tentatively, like he’s waiting for this dream to evaporate.  Suga sighs deeply.

“Yes, Shou, ice cream.”

Two _children_ whoop in the middle of the street.

 

_“You’re really not gonna tell me anything?”_

“There’s nothing to tell.”

_“Suga-chan please, have a little more respect for me. I’m not blind. Anyone could tell that you were interested in him.”_

“It’s not-”

_“Just get the kids together for a playdate, it’s perfect. They’re like little, built-in excuses to meet up. And then daddies can have a playdate.”_

“You’re gross. How could you be so gross.”

 _“Don’t even play, Suga-chan. I know he’s exactly your type of man. There should be absolutely no problem here. Unless- he’s not_ married _, is he?”_

“No. I mean, I don’t think so. I didn’t see a wedding ring."

_“Oh. Well that’s perfect, then. Look, I know you’re bad at dating, darling, but that hasn’t stopped you from fumbling your way into relationships before, and it shouldn’t now!”_

“Is this supposed to be motivating, Tooru?  ‘Cause let me stop you right here and tell you that it’s not.”

_“All’s I’m trying to say is I don’t understand what the holdup is. He’s hot. You’re hot. It’s criminal of you to not pursue this, and I only want the best for my sweet best friend, who sometimes needs to hear how bad he is at picking up men he’s interested in from his awesome best friend who is very good at picking up men he is interested in.”_

“You’re amazing, you know that?”

_“Don’t you take that tone with me. Just give me something to work with here. Is it the kid?”_

“No, no, it’s not...I just...look, it’s complicated right now.”

_“Uh huh.”_

“It is! The timing’s all off, and you know I’ve got deadlines coming up, and Shouyou’s been with me more than usual, and his party’s coming up.”

_“Uh huh.”_

“Stop with that!”

_“You stop. You’re the one with a million excuses.”_

“No-“

_“Look, you take it slow or whatever. Just promise you’ll actually pursue this guy, since you’re so obviously interested. I know how you are, always ignoring your own happiness, so it’s time you take some for yourself.”_

“I don’t do that.”

_“You definitely do. Now promise me.”_

“Come on-“

_“Promise me!”_

“Jesus, fine. I promise.”

_“I’m gonna make you pinky swear it next time I see you.”_

“You’re the most annoying person I know.”

_“Love you, too.”_

 

* * *

 

Tobio receives his first birthday party invitation on May 23rd. When they get home, Tobio pulls it out of his backpack and hands it to Daichi. It’s crumpled from Tobio’s fist, and being stuck in the bottom of his bag, but most definitely homemade. Daichi reads over the concise information on the back, written in neat script. Tobio watches him quietly.

“Shouyou’s birthday?”

Tobio nods.

“Do you wanna go?”

Tobio nods again, slowly. Daichi smiles and smoothes a hand over his hair.

“Alright,” he says. He gives the invitation back to Tobio, and tells him to put it on the fridge. Daichi lifts him up and sets him on the kitchen counter, so he can watch as Daichi writes the date of the party on the calendar. While he makes dinner, and Tobio plops down to play cars on the kitchen floor, he gets Tobio to open up a little, asking him what kind of present Shouyou might like, to which Tobio lists off toy after toy in his soft, animated voice.

He goes to his mother’s the first weekend of June, and Yui brings him back with a smile on her face.

“He kept talking about Shouyou’s party,” she says. “We made him a card.”

They talk a little more, and it’s strained, but it’s a little less strained than usual. Mostly it’s just nice to see Tobio excited about something.

The day before the party, Daichi takes him to the mall for an exercise in patience and a lesson in selflessness. It takes a lot of coaxing and patient explaining that no, they can’t buy Shouyou all these toys, and no, you can’t have everything you see, we’re here to find something for Shouyou, but after a little while, Tobio seems to understand what exactly it means to pick out a present for someone, and asks Daichi for help reaching the coolest…

Honestly, Daichi’s not sure what it is. A big, blow-up bubble or something. 

But it looks like the kind of thing a child as noisy and excitable as Shouyou would love. He helps Tobio pick out a roll of wrapping paper, and then surprises him with a stop to the ice cream stand before they head home. Daichi’s quite pleased with himself, and how well their day went. Tobio falls asleep in the car with bright blue stains around his mouth, from his popsicle, and only stirs enough to whine when Daichi gets him inside and wipes at his mouth with a washcloth. Tobio naps on the couch, and Daichi falls asleep in the chair in the living room, later woken up by Tobio climbing into his lap. 

They wrap the present after dinner, Tobio with a furrow in his forehead as he concentrates on sticking tape where Daichi holds down folds of wrapping paper around the box. Daichi _only_ sneaks five or six pictures.

 

“Daddy, I wanna carry the presen’.”

Sunday is gorgeous, sunny and warm and perfect for a birthday party, and Tobio’s been silently thrumming with excitement all morning. Daichi hands him the gift and laughs a little to see how small Tobio looks when carrying it. 

“Be careful,” Daichi tells him, resting his hand on Tobio’s hair to guide him down the walkway into the house. He was a little worried about finding the house, since he’s not terribly familiar with the area outside of his commute yet, but once he’d found the street, he probably could’ve guessed at the house from a mile off. He’d never seen so many balloons on one house before. 

Tobio walks slowly with the present in his arms, taking small, careful steps. He balks at the front door, though, after Daichi rings the doorbell, and drops the present so he can be picked up instead. 

“Hello!”

Suga is beaming when he swings the front door open, a party hat sitting crookedly on top of his head. A low roar of noise fills the house behind him, a few piercing squeals breaking up the monotony of it, but Suga is unfazed. Tobio ducks his face against Daichi’s neck.

“Hi. Guess we’re a little shy now.”

Suga’s smile turns even brighter.

“That’s alright. Come on in. Oh, is this for Shouyou? Tobio, did you wrap it yourself?”

Tobio nods against Daichi’s neck, his arms squeezing a little tighter.

“What a nice job you did! Let’s go put it somewhere special.”

The inside of the house is a bit maze-like; parents and children and furniture and decorations all crowd the small space, and a steady hum of voices weaves through it all. It’s exactly the type of high-energy party Daichi was expecting. Tobio, now that he’s in the middle of it, seems far less thrilled than he had been that morning.

“Don’t you want to give Shouyou your card?” Daichi asks. 

Tobio squirms, but otherwise makes no move to leave Daichi’s arms. Shouyou must have some sixth sense about Tobio’s hesitation, though, because he pops out of the living room leading a pack of children, and promptly begins shouting “Tobio!” in the middle of the kitchen.

“See? He’s excited to see you, Tobio.”

“Tobio! I saved you this hat! Aiko found it first, but she said you should have it!”

Shouyou twists his hand in Daichi’s pant leg, standing on tiptoe with a paper crown in hand, stretching as far as he can. Tobio shifts enough to look down at Shouyou, and then dives forward to take the crown.

“What do you say, Tobio?”

“Than’ you.”

Tobio assents to being put down after a few minutes of Shouyou shouting up at him. Daichi nudges the card into Tobio’s hands, and prods at him until he hands it over. Shouyou tears open the envelope and wails over the design on the front.

“Did you say ‘thank you’, Shou?”

“Thank you!”

Shouyou surrenders the card to Suga, who popped up out of nowhere after disappearing into the house, after the two of them debate over its safekeeping. He then tries to drag Tobio into the living room, which works until Tobio remembers Daichi’s still in the kitchen, and looks over his shoulder with wide eyes.

“It’s alright, Tobio. You can go play, and I’ll be waiting for you, okay?”

Tobio still looks unsure, but he gets swallowed up by the crowd of kids, and their noisy excitement is too infectious for him. 

“Funny how such different kids become friends, isn’t it?” Suga asks, eyes bright and laughing.

“Yeah, heh. I’m pretty sure Tobio pulled his hair the first day they met, too, and then he comes home the week after asking me if Shouyou can come over.”

“Oh, was that him? Shouyou came home trying to show me a bald patch that didn’t exist.”

“Ugh, sorry about that.”

“Ah, he told me how he wanted to be best friends with Tobio after that. No harm done.”

Daichi can’t help but smile at Suga’s easygoing manner, even as their conversation slips past comfortable silence into awkward.

“Well, I’ve got to-”  
  
“Yeah, of course-”

“Pick out a party hat!”

“Ah, heh.”

“I’m serious,” Suga says with a smile, as he slips around a corner.

“You’re smiling, Dai-chan, but I bet you don’t know just how serious Suga-chan is.”

Daichi starts a little when someone speaks close to his ear, surprised to find Oikawa when he turns around, looking every bit as mischievous and eerily sharp as he was the day Daichi first met him.

“Hello, Sawamura-kun.”

“Good to see you again, Oikawa.”

“He remembers my name _and_ he shook my hand. Oh, I like you.”

Daichi laughs, unsure if Oikawa is being serious or facetious.

Really, it could go either way.

“Well, isn’t this adorable. Where’s Birthday Boy?”

“Out in the living room.”

“Ah yes, I should’ve guessed from the noise. You want a drink or something? I bet Suga-chan didn’t even offer.”

“Oh, no, I’m good-”

“Ooh look, he got ramune.”

Oikawa hands him a bottle from the fridge.

Daichi’s starting to suspect Oikawa is the kind of guy you can’t say no to.

“So, Sawamura-kun, what’s new in your world?”

“Just, y’know, work, and daycare for Tobio. Same routine, but it still manages to take up all our time lately.”

“What do you do for work?”

“Management for a private financial company.”

“That’s just gotta be a blast.”

Daichi laughs as Oikawa’s whole body slumps in sarcasm.

“Well, what do you do?”

“Management,” Oikawa says, grin growing cheeky.

“Something in common, then,” Daichi says.

“Sort of. I’m Suga’s manager.”

 _Is Suga famous?_ is the first thought that pops into Daichi’s head, and it’s just the tiniest bit embarrassing that he’s so far out of touch with what happens in the big, broad world that he has to ask himself this. The second thought is a realization that he must me making a face, based on the expression he’s seeing on Oikawa’s.

“I’m sorry, did you not…know? Has Suga-chan really let me down this much?”

“What?”

“Nothing. So, Suga hasn’t told you he’s a writer. He is, that’s his livelihood, the reason why he hardly leaves his apartment. I’ve been his manager for the past, oh, three years, I think? You know, you two should actually have a conversation sometime.”

“Yeah…”

“Ugh, when did you get here?”

Suga appears from around the corner, his nose wrinkling when he sees Oikawa.

“Suga-chan, you wound me.”

“You didn’t bring your stupid crown again, did you?” Suga says, to which Oikawa holds up a little case. His face is positively lit up with a wicked grin.

“Get out of my sight.”

“Suga-chan!  So mean!”

“Go away. Go say hello to my mother.”

Oikawa slinks off with a little flounce in his step, seemingly unaffected, swinging his little case back and forth.

“He’s not to be trusted, Sawamura, let this be your warning.”

“Alright.”

Daichi hesitates, watching Suga fuss over the kitchen counter, neatening up with flighty touches that don’t do much to the mess of plates and napkins.

“Here, let me help.”

“Absolutely not. You are a guest, Sawamura, and I will not have my guests _working_ at a party. Besides, I think we both know I’m probably doing more harm than good right now, anyway.”

Suga gives up on the cluttered counter and faces him, party hat still askew. Daichi finds it ridiculously endearing.

“So, um, Oikawa said you’re a writer?”

“O-oh!  Well, yes. Did I not tell you that?”

“You didn’t, no.”

“Oh. I thought I did. Surprise, I guess.”

“Well? Is that all? What do you write?”

“Novels. The occasional article, short stories, private stuff, y’know, stuff like that.”

“Anything I’ve read?”

There’s something truly captivating about the slow smile that curves over Suga’s mouth, the shape of it sweet, but sharp, a curl of something devilish and enticing.

“Maybe.”

And as quickly as it appeared, Suga's smile turns genuine, a little laugh trailing out of his mouth. Daichi's head is spinning, caught in the sharpness of the smile, before it softened. He's now regretting the lack of communication between the two of them something fierce, and he's awfully curious as to what other things are hidden beneath Suga's sweet disposition.

"I wish I could tell you more, but I'm under so many contracts that my head would be sent off to at least seven different people if I broke any of them."

"Are you sure you're just a writer, and not actually an international spy or something?"

"You know, I was _this_ close to majoring in International Spy in college."

"Damn shame."

"Well, it's a difficult struggle. I manage, though."

They slip into silence again, both of them falling into a type of shyness, delicate, fragile. Squeals ring out from the living room, distracting enough to relieve some of the tension that settles like dust fragments over their forms and their past-spoken words. 

“Must be having fun,” Daichi says, the words tumbling out softly.

He steals a glance at Suga, whose gaze is stuck firmly in the direction of the living room. Daichi looks over his profile, the slope of his cheeks, the waves in his hair, the beauty mark. Every line of Suga is curved with intent, each imperfection and angle making up a whole picture hiding a story, a personality that Daichi’s only caught in gleams as it cut to the surface. He quietly comes to the realization that he wants to collect all those fragments, and piece them together until he truly knows Suga.

“Not to interrupt, but isn’t it time we cut into that cake?”

The silence shatters when Oikawa slips back into the kitchen, with a tiny silver tiara on his head and Shouyou propped up on his hip. 

“The _crown_ ,” Suga says, and it comes out in such an agonized groan that Daichi laughs.

“Ah- ah. I’ll have you know that I’ve very graciously agreed to let _your_ nephew wear my beautiful crown after cake, and now that I’ve said the word _cake_ about fifteen times, all your little guests are quite ready.”

Suga groans, to which Oikawa beams, and sets about gathering plates and forks, plunking Shouyou down into a chair. The children wander in and out of the kitchen, most of them swarming to their parents and asking about cake. Daichi’s not surprised to see Tobio rushing towards him, arms already outstretched. He’s adjusting well to daycare, but the unstructured nature of the party must be throwing Tobio for a bit of a loop. 

He tries to help Suga, he really does, but before he can push his way closer, a woman that _must_ be Suga’s mother cuts him off, insisting that guests relax and let them handle it. The resemblance is almost uncanny, right down to the mannerisms and- what Daichi’s slowly starting to discover- the stubbornness.

So he steps aside with Tobio in his arms and watches with the other parents. They all sing a rousing round of Happy Birthday to Shouyou, who beams while standing in a chair and leans across the table in order to get as close to the cake as possible. Suga cuts it, and Shouyou insists on handing it out. Daichi’s stunned by Shouyou’s wholehearted kindness when he offers Tobio the first piece.

After all the cake has been served, there’s a call for presents, a great wave of excited shouts from frosting-stained mouths that almost distracts the kids from their cake. It’s Oikawa who tamps down that fire, hauling the presents out from whatever corner they were tucked away in. He settles Shouyou on his lap and makes him open each present carefully, card first, which Shouyou hands to him to read aloud. Tobio watches in interest while Daichi finishes the cake he’s had enough of, eventually relenting to be put down, and wandering closer to the table. He’s squirming by the time Shouyou gets to his present, jittering his feet in excitement, and even pushing closer. Shouyou raises a great deal of noise after revealing every present, but Daichi likes to think he’s even louder when he opens Tobio’s. 

He almost slips off of Oikawa’s lap, trying to take the present with him, eager to tear into its box, but Oikawa holds him firm and tells him it would be rude to stop opening presents when so many nice friends brought them for him. So he continues, and nearly flies out of Oikawa’s grip when he’s allowed free, pulling Tobio’s present with him into the living room.

“Well, that was exciting,” Oikawa says, sliding up beside Daichi as the crowd in the kitchen thins out a little bit. “I don’t know what a four-year-old is gonna do with all those toys.”

“What all four-year-olds do, I guess.”

“Which is?”

“I dunno. Tobio’s only three. We haven’t gotten that far yet.”

Oikawa laughs sharply, picking up discarded paper plates and forks and dumping them in the trash. Daichi watches him for a moment, takes in the intent of all his movements, the easy way in which he moves around the kitchen, cleaning up quickly but still holding conversations with some of the remaining parents. He seems...familiar here, in Sugawara-san’s home, and it unsettles something in Daichi’s stomach. It makes him wonder just how close Oikawa and Suga actually are.

Soon, the kids start leaving, slowly being nudged out the door by moms and dads. Daichi finds himself drawn into conversation with a few of the parents he recognizes from the daycare, as he’s slipped into the living room to keep an eye on Tobio, who’s out in the yard chasing Shouyou’s huge plastic bubble. Suga flits in and out of his range of vision, trailed by Oikawa, or his mother, both of whom seem to be gently chiding him out of some frenzied state. In the back of his mind, Daichi grapples with how curious he is, and tries very hard to crush the sour twinge that seems to rear its head as he catches sight of Oikawa.

So he distracts himself with conversation about work, and the weather, and how Tobio’s adjusting to the move, and the other parents listen with rapt attention, and offer their own suggestions for kids with divorced parents, _I’ll find that magazine I read it in and drop it off tomorrow._

The problem is, it’s _boring_ conversation. 

Daichi’s read all those articles, late night research after Tobio stopped asking where his mother was and finally fell asleep, and this is territory he doesn’t want to delve into again, but the other parents latch onto it. He doesn’t know how to escape their polite words and good intentions. 

“So this is where you’ve been hiding, Sawamura-kun.”

Daichi startles again when Oikawa speaks too close to his ear, but the distraction is so welcome he finds himself relieved rather than annoyed. 

“I need your help with something,” he says, which leaves Daichi perplexed, but intrigued, so he excuses himself quickly and trails behind Oikawa to the kitchen.

He waits, confused, as Oikawa waves goodbye to some departing guests and sticks his hands in dishwater.

“So...you needed help with something?” Daichi asks, and Oikawa looks over his shoulder like he’s just realized he dragged Daichi out here no less than thirty seconds ago.

“No. You just looked so miserable in whatever conversation you were trapped in that I thought I’d rescue you,” he says.

He’s a little embarrassed how right Oikawa is.

“But since you’re out here,” he continues, “you can dry the dishes!”

Which is how he finds himself Sugawara-san’s kitchen, drying the dishes Oikawa hands to him.

It becomes a strange window of stillness. Oikawa doesn’t talk to him; he says goodbye to the parents and the kids as they leave the house, but he doesn’t talk to Daichi, just hums something fleetingly familiar as he washes. Daichi would take this as an opportunity to unwind a little, if he wasn’t set so out of sorts by Oikawa. 

He can’t seem to catch a break anymore, as he keeps meeting these people he can’t read. First Suga, now Oikawa. 

It’s strange.

“Oh my god, no. Get out of the kitchen. Stop doing my dishes.”

Suga’s appeared in the doorway to the kitchen, hands on his hips, staring hard at Oikawa’s back.

“Actually, Suga-chan, they’re your _mother’s_ dishes.”

“Stop doing my mother’s dishes.”

Daichi’s ashamed to admit he cows a little under the weight of Suga’s glare when he shifts his gaze.

“And _you_ ,” he says. “I already banished you once. What is this treachery?”

“Hey, I’m just here because Oikawa handed me a towel.”

Suga huffs, actually _huffs_ , and starts putting the clean, dry dishes stacked on the table away.  Daichi’s surprised to see Suga’s eyes are a little red-rimmed, and it’s shocking enough that he ducks his head. He wonders if Suga had been crying earlier, if it had to do with whatever issue it was, when Sugawara-san and Oikawa were chasing him around the house.  

Oikawa finishes up and disappears, and Daichi’s a bit rattled to be left alone with Suga, in a situation he’s unfamiliar with.

“Did Tobio have fun?” Suga asks after a few beats of silence. His voice sounds a little fuzzy.

“I think so. He’s certainly been more open today than usual. I don’t know where the boys disappeared to, though…”

“Still out in the yard,” Suga says, smiling a bit. “They fell asleep in the grass.”

Daichi sees images of routine and schedule in his mind, of naptime and bedtime and sugar intake, and decides, very quietly, _fuck it_.

“Thank you for inviting us,” he says softly, thinking of Tobio’s buzzing little self throughout the day. He can see Suga looking at him from the corner of his eye, but he can’t bring himself to meet his gaze. His gratefulness makes him shy. “Shouyou’s a good friend to Tobio.”

“I’m happy that Shouyou has found such a friend as Tobio,” Suga says, without missing a beat.

“Yes, well. I guess they never would’ve met if Tobio hadn’t been his charming little self and tried to pull Shouyou’s hair out.”

Suga snorts out a laugh, and the sound of it pulls a laugh out of Daichi, too, one maybe a bit too loud for a house that isn’t his, but it feels good anyway. He’s just happy that Suga’s smiling, even if it’s half-hearted.

“We should get going,” he has to say, even though something like regret sits heavy in his chest as soon as the words are out of his mouth. Suga nods.

“Hey...um, if you aren’t busy-”

“Yeah?”

“Wanna plan for the aquarium next week?”

“Oh,” Daichi says, his mind running over his schedule, mentally high-fiving himself when he figures out he’s free, and then mentally berating himself for a _mental high-five,_ “yeah! That’s perfect! Next Saturday okay?”

“Sure, that’ll be great.”

Sure enough, Tobio and Shouyou are sprawled out on the grass. And they look dead asleep, too. Daichi’s a little concerned that Tobio won’t wake up easily, but he does, almost the instant Daichi puts a hand on him. He’s groggy, though, and immediately loops his arms around his father’s neck. Shouyou doesn’t wake up until Suga’s already lugged him up from the ground, but then he’s up, and on, as energetic as usual, dancing circles around them all as they head back inside.

“Aquarium next week,” Suga says, when Daichi’s lingering by the front door, Tobio draped over his shoulder.

“I’m gonna hold you to it,” he says in response.

“I promise!”

“I’ve got two little witnesses here that are going to be very disappointed if you break your promise.”

Suga looks at him, looks at Tobio, and finally sidelong at Shouyou, before holding out a finger, and looking very solemnly at Daichi.

“I pinky promise,” he says, and Daichi’s not sure if he’s laughing at Suga, or the way Shouyou gasps in astonishment and pulls on Suga’s pant leg.

“Fine,” he says, and they lock pinkies on it. And then Shouyou wants to pinky promise, but Tobio’s still sleepy, and doesn’t appreciate Shouyou pulling at his ankle, and Daichi feels like he’s being spun into another distraction before he can even get out of the house, so he extracts Shouyou’s sticky hand from Tobio’s leg and says goodbyes as quickly and politely as possible. 

He’s not surprised when Tobio conks out again in his carseat. He feels about the same way. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [tumblr](downmoonwrites)


	2. Chapter 2

Suga completely forgets about the aquarium until Thursday afternoon, when he gets a text from Sawamura. And it’s not that he panics, per se, he just-

He completely panics.

It takes him a few minutes of pacing to actually _think_ instead of losing his cool, and another minute to realize that it’s okay, it’s only Thursday, and they won’t be heading to the aquarium ‘til Saturday, and he’ll just have to cancel the one thing.

Okay.

Okay.

This is doable.

He digs his phone out from between the couch cushions; how it ended up there, he will never know, but forgets it when he rushes out the door to pick Shouyou up from daycare, buries it on the table under takeout, and finds it again some time after Shou’s been put to bed. He cancels his engagement for Saturday, before he forgets about it again, and Tooru’s mad, but comes around in his own way when Suga tells him that it’s the aquarium.

“Oh, I forgot, you weren’t there for the pinky promise.”

_“You can’t be serious.”_

“The kids were there! He made me give my word in front of the kids! I’m pretty sure Shou’s forgotten by now-”

_“Like you.”_

“-but what else was I supposed to do? Crush their little hopes and dreams?”

_“You’re just crushing my hopes and dreams instead.”_

“Right. No harm done.”

_“Okay, that’s just insulting.”_

“It isn’t. You and I both know you’ll just force me to make it up to you. I know how that steel-trap you call a mind holds grudges. It’s for the kids, anyway. Shou’s doing fine, but he needs to stay occupied, and he’ll want to go. And it’s educational, he needs more education. I think he watches too much TV when he’s with his mom, and that rots their little brains, y’know? And his _diet_ , I’ve got to do something about that. He’s still so small for his age, and all that processed stuff isn’t good for him anyway, but it’s his health, and I remember reading an article somewhere about the effects of processed foods on young children, and-”

_“Suga, are you alright?”_

The way Tooru says it completely shocks him, and he can almost physically feel himself retreating.

“W-what? I’m totally fine!”

_“You’re babbling! You only babble when you’re stressed.”_

“I do not! That’s not true, you don’t know what you’re talking about.”

 _“No, I definitely do know what I’m talking about, not that I’ve done much talking because_ you _haven’t let me get in a damn word.”_

“I-”

_“And how many times have I told you that you’re absolute shit at handling stress? How many times have I told you to stop bottling all that crap up, and ask for help when you need it? Stop trying to do everything yourself.”_

“I’m not.”

Tooru sighs on the other end of the phone, that kind of world-weary sigh that slips out of him every once in awhile, rare in its genuity.

_“Just...keep it in mind, I guess, since you never bother listening to me.”_

“That is in no way true.”

_“Yeah, yeah, keep deluding yourself. Have fun on Saturday. Try to get an actual date out of it.”_

Tooru, from then on, behaves in his usual manner, and later Suga hangs up in a huff. He steadfastly keeps the conversation out of his mind, focusing on his draft and Shouyou’s questions about the aquarium once he lets it slip. 

 

By Saturday morning, Suga’s just as excited as Shouyou is, and it really takes more than a fair share of restraint not to break into a run with Shouyou every time he tries to dart forward. Focusing on Shouyou gives him a reason to be distracted, though, from the little lurch his heart gives when he spots the Sawamuras.

“Tobio!” Shouyou shouts, and almost manages to slip his hand out of Suga’s.

“Shou, no running please. And remember what I told you about Tobio and his space.”

Shouyou looks like he wasn’t listening, which is probably absolutely true, dissolving into bouncy, dancing steps in his excitement. It brings a smile to Suga’s face.

“Hello,” Sawamura calls when they’re closer, bouncing Tobio a little in his arms. Tobio looks less than thrilled, a little scowl over his face as he surveys from his place, very intense for someone who is only three.

“Hi, Tobio,” Suga says, laughing when Tobio turns shy and tucks his face against Sawamura’s neck. 

“Shall we?”

Suga reminds Shouyou of indoor voices as soon as they step inside, which seems to be pointless, as he’s squawking from the get-go. Thankfully, the attendant who hands them their badges thinks his excitement is cute, and spends a few minutes going over the aquarium’s map with Shouyou.  Suga catches Tobio leaning forward to look at the map the more worked up Shou gets.

They let Shouyou lead them inside, even as he keeps asking Suga to read the map for him, but he holds it in front of him with such conviction that Tobio, after a few exhibits, squirms to be let down. He walks tentatively beside Shouyou, sometimes falling back to hold Sawamura’s hand for a moment, before he seems to get excited again and darts forward to see what the next exhibit is as Shouyou holds the map up for Suga to read to him.

“Shou, hands off the glass please.”

“Suga-chan, what’s that?”

Shouyou points into the tank, hands still pressing against the glass, eyes wide and curious as he gestures to one of maybe a thousand fish.

“Um, well, it’s a tropical fish. See, right here in the brochure, that’s what it says.”

“Tro-pi-cal fish. What kind of tro-pi-cal fish, Suga-chan?”

“I- well, I’m not sure. There’s lots of kinds, aren’t there?”

Shou looks at the brochure, then back to Suga, childishly unimpressed with Suga’s attempt at explanation, before he moves on, Tobio trailing slowly behind him.

“Shouyou didn’t happen to pick up _Suga-chan_ from Oikawa, did he?”

Sawamura’s slipped up beside him, shouldering Tobio’s little backpack, looking far too smug and handsome for his own good.

“Tooru met Shouyou at a very influential time. I’m still waiting for some of his... _Tooru-isms_ to filter out.”

Sawamura laughs, but hides it behind his hand. 

“Hey, don’t laugh at me. Knowing Tooru is to know suffering, and there’s no worse punishment than having your nephew corrupted by him.”

“Oh, you’re absolutely right.”

“I’ll have you know that Shou’s already taken selfies with him. And while it’s definitely adorable, I’m afraid this is what his future will look like. I’m not prepared for another Oikawa Tooru in this world.”

“Ah, I’m sure you have plenty of time to influence him.”

They fall silent, walking through the haze of soft, blue lights towards the next exhibit. Sawamura’s still smiling, when Suga chances a look over at him, but there’s a hint of a frown clouding his face. He wonders what’s going on inside Sawamura’s head, what put that frown there.

“Everything all right?” he chances. Sawamura blinks, like he’s clearing his head.

“Uh, yeah! Fine, it’s- um. If you don’t mind me asking, uh, but I couldn’t help but notice. I mean-”  
  
He clears his throat.

“I’ve noticed that you and Oikawa are pretty close?”  
  
“Um, in a way, I guess. We’ve been friends for a while.”  
  
“Yeah. That’s cool. Um, _just_ friends?”  
  
For a moment, Suga doesn’t get it. He squints a little, running the question over in his mind, until-

The entire world stops rotating on its axis. Everything becomes curiously still, but then he can feel the way his cheeks ignite, and something like horror chills him.

“ _Yes_ , just friends. Oh my god, yeah, nothing but friends-”

“I’m sorry, god. I just noticed-”

“It’s fine. I’m- I’m not really Tooru’s type. And he has this need to be the center of attention at all times. So, no.”

Sawamura groans, and rubs his hands over his face. Suga can see the tips of his ears are burning red. He’s pretty well _mortified_ at even the thought of him and Tooru, but Sawamura’s embarrassment is clearly even greater. Still, even though there’s a wedge of awkwardness between the two of them, Suga finds himself smothering a laugh.

Tobio decides he’s had enough of Shouyou for the moment and floats back to Sawamura, offering the perfect distraction, taking his hand and looking with wide, dark eyes, up at Suga, hiding his face when Suga smiles at him.

“Do you like the aquarium, Tobio?” he asks. Tobio remains tucked against his dad, until Sawamura shakes his hand a little, and gently prompts him, until Tobio quickly nods his head.

“Shy?” Suga asks, and Sawamura nods.

“Yeah, kind of. It’s a little...complicated, I think,” he says, his voice dipping low, his expression falling. 

Shouyou rushes back with the brochure in hand as they approach the next exhibit, and Suga crouches so that Shou and Tobio both can crowd around him as he reads the description. He has to grab Shouyou’s arm to keep him from darting off as soon as he stands up.

“Shou, no running. Remember the rules?”

“Suga- _chaaan_.”

“Come on, stay next to me for a little bit.”

Shouyou pouts, but perks up a little when Tobio walks beside him. Suga spares a glance to Sawamura, curious as to what exactly _complicated_ means for a child as young as Tobio. He twists words over and over in his mind, trying to come up with the right way to ask without being insensitive or nosy, even though he _is_ nosy. 

Shou tries to run ahead again, also trying to drag Tobio with him, and it’s distracting enough that Suga’s mind quiets down, his focus on keeping Shouyou within his grasp, and the feeling of Tobio’s hand sliding into his own.

“Oh, wow,” he hears from Sawamura behind him, and it’s enough to prompt him to look up. Both little boys fall silent, and Suga’s own mouth snaps shut for an instant, every thought stolen from him as he takes in the enormity of the tank.

Inside, the creatures swim lazily, unaware of the awe they inspire. There’s dozens of manta rays, _hundreds_ of fish, a whale shark- _two_ whale sharks, all moving in gentle circles around the tank. Suga feels a little like he’s witnessing something life- changing.

“That’s amazing,” Sawamura says, and it seems to break the spell. When Suga looks over, Sawamura looks just as captivated and wide-eyed as the boys, blissfully youthful and worry-free. 

“Suga-chan,” Shouyou says, antsy in his steps. He’s nearly vibrating with excitement.

“Do _not_ run, and don’t push,” Suga says in his best firm tone, and allows Shouyou’s hand to slip out of his. He’s a little surprised to find that Tobio doesn’t pull out of his grasp, either, just stays contentedly quiet beside him, even as Sawamura comes up behind him and ruffles his hair.

“Cool, huh, Tobio?” Sawamura says, and Tobio nods his head sharply. 

“Cool, huh, Sawamura?” Suga chirps, and Sawamura laughs.

“It’s totally cool. I feel a little like a kid myself. But seriously, you’ve gotta stop calling me Sawamura. That’s what people call my dad.”

“What’s the matter, not ready to accept that you’re an old man?”

Sawamura laughs, gently but genuinely. Suga’s heart gives another lurch.

“Nah, I’ve long since accepted my old man status. Kids kinda pull that out of you, willing or not. I’d just much rather hear you call me by my name.”

Sawamura looks down, rubbing the back of his neck bashfully. 

Oh no. First he’s foolish, and then he’s charming.

_Oh no._

“Okay. Daichi.”

The name feels strange in his mouth, delicate and tentative, like a small piece to an enormous puzzle he’s just beginning to put together. Suga feels his face warm up, and he steadfastly stares into the tank, trying to crush down the blush over his skin. He feels Tobio pulling on his hand, and looks down to see him pressing up on his tiptoes, trying to get a better look.

“You wanna come up, Tobio?” he asks.

Tobio looks up at him, and nods slowly, holding his tiny hands out until Suga picks him up. He looks a little wildly for Sawa- _Daichi_ , but settles as soon as he discovers his dad standing closeby. Daichi looks rather stunned, and Suga’s not exactly sure why, but _complicated_ pops up in his mind again, and the wheels start spinning. 

Tobio’s quiet; reserved in a way most three-year-olds aren’t, but Suga doesn’t see that as _bad_ , or even necessarily unusual. Shou was quiet until he was nearly two, and ever since his first word, he’s been an endless stream of chatter. If there’s anything he’s learned about children, it’s that they’re all different, and any kind of specific comparison to other kids is usually wrong. With developing little personalities and bodies and cognition, the broader the terms of development, the better, given that children are far too complex to be lumped into similar categories most of the time. Still, Suga’s curious to know what it is Daichi would call _complicated._

“No fair! No fair, Tobio!” Suga hears, and his gaze darts around until he spots Shou scampering back towards them.

“I want up too, Suga-chan!” he says, his voice on the edge of hysterical.

“I can’t, Shou. Tobio’s having a turn right now-”

“Suga- _chan_ , I wanna come up!” Shouyou says, definitely close to tears. “I want up! _Please!”_

“I can’t, baby-”

“Come on, Shouyou, you wanna sit on my shoulders?” Daichi says easily.

Shou lights up, all traces of the cloud of tears in his eyes disappearing as Daichi lifts him up and settles his squirming legs around his neck. Suga very much wants to take a picture when Shou’s hands nearly cover Daichi’s eyes.

“Hold still, Shou,” he says, and again, until Shouyou stops his restless movements and holds more or less still.

All four of them settle into tranquility, just watching the passive swimming, even Shouyou speaking in his best whisper. 

“You know,” Daichi says after a while, when the boys have settled down with the calmness of the exhibit, and lapsed into silence. The sound of his voice startles Suga, and the movement of his unconscious swaying is interrupted when he jumps.

“Tobio’s not usually this open with other people,” he says, “nor this trusting.”

Something must twist across Suga’s face, because when he looks down at Tobio, whose eyelids have gone heavy as he slumps into Suga’s chest, and back up at Daichi, Daichi laughs at him.

“I’m not saying it like it’s a bad thing, just an observation, I guess.”

“Oh.”

“Seriously, you looked really upset, though, for like, one whole second.”

“ _Well_ , you say something like that to me while I’m holding your child! Surprise, I’m gonna be wondering what exactly you’re implying.”

Daichi smiles, and from here, Suga can see the way the corners of his eyes crinkle.

_Smitten._

_This is what smitten feels like._

“Can I ask, I mean, if it’s not too sensitive or presumptuous or whatever-”

_Shut up, oh my god shut up._

“Um, well I mean, it’s just that you said Tobio’s complicated? And I’m not even going to pretend that I’m not intensely curious as to what that means, but that’s mostly me all the time. But only if you’re comfortable talking about this-”

“Oh yeah, no, it’s fine-”

“Sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

“No, I shouldn’t _blurt_ out sensitive questions like that. I do that all the time, despite my better judgement. I swear I have judgment. Please don’t come away from this thinking I don’t have judgement.”

Daichi laughs, and Suga’s stomach erupts into butterflies. 

“I promise I won’t.”

“Good.”

They fall silent, Suga waiting for Daichi to go on.

“Tobio’s mother and I divorced a year ago. And Tobio didn’t handle the separation well. He’s doing much better with it now, but every once in awhile he backtracks, and doesn’t understand why his parents don’t live together anymore.”

Daichi shifts, Shouyou’s legs starting to bounce with squirmy energy. Something like a wince passes across his face, from the child digging into his shoulders, or old memories, Suga couldn’t say. Maybe a mix of both.

“So it’s a work in progress, for the both of us. We’ve only been in the area for a few months, so Shouyou is Tobio’s first real friend. You, too, Suga. He has a hard time trusting adults because he’s convinced they’ll all leave him, but he’s opened up to you really easily.”

There’s a lump in his throat. Suga swallows. And swallows again. Because he doesn’t know what to say. He is absolutely at a loss for words because of this man standing beside him.

“So, thanks for that.”

“Y-yeah! Of course! I didn’t know, I’m sorry-”

“It’s fine. No harm done.”

He feels bad, for dredging up a potentially sore subject, for marring what was supposed to be a fun day out with his incessant nosiness, but Daichi doesn’t look too affected. Just smiles softly, rippled light from the aquarium swimming across his face.

The boys are less enthused about the aquarium after lunch, both demanding to be held, and both starting to whine. Suga even catches Daichi stifling a yawn as they try to drum up some excitement in the kids at the deep sea exhibit.

“Probably about time we call it a day, wouldn’t you say?” he asks, when Daichi tries to hide another yawn. 

“Yeah. We’ll have to come back another time. I don’t think we even made it through half of the exhibits.”

Both boys seem to perk up a bit when they step outside into golden afternoon sunlight, Shouyou going so far as to try to pull Tobio down from his dad’s arms so they can play.

“Thanks for this,” Suga says, once he’s gotten hold of Shouyou.

“Yeah, thanks for coming. It’s great that the boys can get together like this.”

“It is.”

“We’ll do it again, sometime.”

“Yeah, definitely.”

Shouyou tries to dart away, and ends up pulling Suga along in a lurch. Daichi laughs at the two of them, a warm and contagious burst of mirth that has Suga smiling as he struggles to wave goodbye over his shoulder.

 

* * *

 

He’s fucked.

Oh, he’s so fucked.

He hasn’t fallen this hard for a boy since high school, and even during that time of his life, it wasn’t nearly as instantaneous as he’s fallen for Daichi.

Which, okay, maybe isn’t entirely accurate, seeing as he’s actually known Daichi for a few months. He’s only seen him a handful of times, however, and that’s the kicker. He started dating a nice boy a week after the start of his third year, but he’d already known him for a fair portion of his life, and he didn’t fall so quickly and so intensely back then. Daichi’s a complete unknown, a handsome, caring, sweet unknown, but even so, he shouldn’t be falling this fast.

Maybe the unknown of it all is part of the problem here.

Shit.

“Sugawara, are you even listening to me? You aren’t. No, no, don’t bother perking up now after I’ve already wasted my breath.”

“Haji _me_ , I’m sorry! I’m listening, I swear.”

“No, nevermind. Your draft is clearly nowhere near as important as whatever you were daydreaming about. Your date this weekend or whatever.”

_“What?”_

This is it. This is how his life will end, dying of shame in his editor’s office.

“Suga, I work in an office full of people who clearly don’t have anything better to do than gossip, and when at least one of those people has fairly steady contact with Oikawa, shit’s gonna tear through here pretty fast.”

 _“_ It wasn’t even a date! It was a thing for the kids! _”_

“Is that so.”

“Hajime! You ass! Don’t tell me everyone thinks I was on a date!”

“Sorry.”

He at least has the decency to look a little ashamed, and even though Suga’s ready to curl up and hide from his own mortification, he can at least appreciate that little gesture.

“But I do need to look at your draft by next week at the latest,” he says, and that’s always something Suga’s admired in Iwaizumi Hajime in all the time he’s been Suga’s editor, the no-nonsense, straightforward attitude. But that’s not to say Hajime’s a drag, oh no. 

Suga has pictures to prove otherwise.

“Suga.”

“Yeah, yeah, draft next week. It’s almost done. I’ll bang out the rest of it within the next few days.”

“Good.”

Hajime’s phone rings, and Suga watches as he picks it up almost on instinct. When Hajime’s face screws up into something awful, Suga has a fair idea of who’s about to burst into his office.

“I hope you don’t make that face when I’m coming up to your office.”

“Nah, the face I make for you is much worse.”

“You know, I was about to offer to get him out of here before he settles in, but I think I’ll leave the two of you alone.”

“Suga...”

“No, don’t thank me Hajime, it’s my pleasure. Come in!”

The door to Hajime’s office creaks open after Suga shouted, and he catches Hajime cringing and rubbing his face before attempting to school his expression into something neutral. Unfortunately, _neutral_ isn’t exactly something that can be expressed around Tooru.

“Iwa-chan!”

“Oh, god-”

“Tooru, you know Hajime was _just_ talking about you and how much he really wants you to stay here and tell him all about how boring your weekend was?”

“Suga, I swear to god-”

He grins as Hajime looks like he’s about to explode. He’s been learning how to push Hajime’s buttons for a handful of years; it’s nice to know he’s still got that down to a science.

“As nice as that sounds, I can’t stay,” Tooru says, flopping down into the cushy chair next to Suga’s. “Big meeting this afternoon.”

“The monthly one?”

“Yeah.”

“Didn’t you just have that?”

“I don’t remember.”

“You did. It was like two weeks ago.”

“Well that _was_ last month, Suga-chan.”

“I know, but-”

“This is great, stimulating conversation and all,” Hajime interrupts, “but unlike you two, I have actual work to do, so why don’t you two kindly get the fuck out.”

“Language, Hajime!”

“Get the fuck out, please.”

“Oh, he said ‘please,' Tooru, we better go.”

“You kiss your mother with that mouth, Iwa-chan?”

“Get out!”

Suga and Tooru scurry out of Hajime’s office before he gets _really_ mad. On their way out of the office, Tooru stops to chat with Matsukawa and Hanamaki, and Suga’s reminded of Hajime’s earlier comment, about the routes of gossip.

“You know,” he says, when they leave the air-conditioned sanctuary of the office and step out onto the sun-drenched sidewalk, “somehow Hajime knew about the _date_ I didn’t actually go on this weekend.”

“Oh?”

“How do you suppose he heard about it?”

“Probably someone with a big mouth.”

“Why’d you tell?! Why did you have to tell?”

 _“Well_ , I had to tell _some_ one! I can’t just keep my mouth shut about my precious best friend finally getting over himself and hanging out with the love of his life. I had to weasel details out of Shou-chan, by the way. My own best friend keeps his lips zipped about his date with hot dad of the century, and I have to find out from his _nephew!”_

“It wasn’t even a date!”

“Waste of a Saturday, then.”

Suga scowls and walks a little faster, annoyed when Tooru easily keeps up with him.

Curse him and his damn long legs.

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” he says.

“Suga-chan, are you trying to get rid of me?”

“Yes.”  
  
“You wound me!”

Suga walks a little faster.

“Alright, so maybe I shouldn’t have told Makki-chan, but I couldn’t help it. I’m chatty.”

“You’re a gossip.”

“Suga, are you really mad? You know how I work; I know I shouldn’t be doing something while I’m doing it, and it all ends with you kicking me in the shin, or doing that awful thing you do with your tiny hands while lecturing me on all the reasons why I shouldn’t have done what I just did.”

“If this is an apology, you’re doing a shit job of it.”

“I’ll get you a coffee.”

“No.”

“Dinner?”

“Tooru!” he says, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk, “why can’t you just apologize and mean it?”

Suga storms off, too wrapped up in his annoyance to notice Tooru lagging behind.  Embarrassment is never something he handles well; it either turns him into a fool, or a petty fool.  And the fact that Daichi hasn’t called or texted since the aquarium on Saturday isn’t improving his rather _delicate_ mood as of late. Sometimes he really hates how sensitive he can be.

“Suga-chan, I’m sorry.”

“You sound like Shouyou when I catch him doing something naughty.”

“Please don’t be mad.”

Suga groans. He can already feel himself softening up. It’s the sincerity in Tooru’s tone.

“I’m not mad,” he says. It comes out on the end of a sigh as Tooru slinks up beside him and links their arms together.

“Daichi hasn’t gotten in touch with me,” he says after a while.

“Since when?”

“Since Saturday.”

“So?”

“So...I don’t know. I don’t know where things stand. I don’t even know if he’s _interested._ ”

“Have you called him?”

“I-”

“Suga, come on! I told you- we live in this great big, _modern_ world and you’re sulking because he hasn’t called you? Be proactive! Take charge of your love life!”

“I _know_ , but-”

But what? He’s always lived to be honest with himself, and he hates to make excuses more than anything, but there’s something swirling in the back of his mind over Daichi, and he’s a little afraid to uncover it.

“Just call him,” Tooru says airily, and Suga hates him just a little bit. Everything’s always so easy for him.

They part at the train station, Tooru having to take off running down the sidewalk, because he walked too far with Suga and now he’s late for his meeting. Suga scolds him as he’s running off, but even so it brings a smile to his face. When he gets home, he starts the kettle for tea, and leans against the counter while staring at his phone.

_Get ahold of yourself._

_What are you so worried about?_

He thinks.

_Moving too fast._

_Kids involved._

_Am I even reading this right?_

_Is Daichi even interested?_

_What if he isn’t?_

_What if I end up alone again?_

_You’ve been alone before._

_Yes, but it hurts. It’s an old, torn up wound that never quite heals up._

He opens up the Notepad function on his phone and types out the line for future reference.

_It may hurt, but it’s nothing to be afraid of. There might be pain, but so what? You’ll get over it. And if you don’t embrace the possibility of pain, how will you ever stop being afraid?_

He writes that line down, too.

The kettle starts to whistle. He pours hot water into his mug and takes it with him into his tiny, cluttered office. He’s nearly done with his draft, so close to the end of the story that he can almost feel it pouring out of his brain. It has been for the past week.

He wasn’t lying when he told Hajime he’d have a draft done; he’ll force his way to the end of the story if need be, but it really makes his job so much more miserable when the words won’t come to him. And it makes everything in his life that much more difficult, that he can’t keep himself from thinking about Daichi.

“Why me?” he mutters out loud, “why me, cruel universe?”

_Actually, don’t answer that._

Suga sips delicately at his tea, staring at the blinking cursor in his word document. Mind wretchedly blank, he thinks about Daichi, and Tooru’s words.

_Call him._

_Just pick up the phone and call him._

_After I finish this._

_Stop avoiding!_

_It’s not avoidance, it’s just priorities._

Suga squashes the part of his mind that’s coming up with counter arguments and starts typing.

 

* * *

 

On Monday, Tobio comes home from daycare with a sniffle. Daichi makes him soup and tea, and puts him to bed with little fuss. He seems fine on Tuesday, goes to daycare pleasantly on Wednesday, but when Daichi picks him up, he can tell that Tobio’s come down with some kind of godawful _plague_. 

He has to stop at the store on the way home for medicine and juice and more tea, but Tobio whines to be picked up as soon as he’s out of the car, screams when Daichi tries to set him down inside the store, and then snuffles pathetically into Daichi’s work shirt.

Shopping one-handed is difficult, _but,_ he’s been doing this dad thing for a few years now, and if there’s anything he’s learned in those few years, it’s that nothing is impossible. 

It’s just a matter of trying hard enough. 

So he manages, and shuffles Tobio back into his carseat, and gets them both home with a surprisingly minimal amount of stress. But then Tobio doesn’t want to eat, and he doesn’t want to have medicine, or a bath, and he certainly doesn’t want to lay down in his own bed, after Daichi’s coaxed him through all these things. Normally, he’d try a little harder to keep Tobio on his routine, but the snotty, cough-laden sobs coming from his son are too misery-immersed for him to ignore.

He calls out of work for the rest of the week, and forgets all about Yui, until the buzzer of his apartment is ringing on Friday afternoon, waking him up from where he’d dozed off with Tobio slumped over his chest.

“I’m sorry,” he’s saying, as soon as he’s opening the door, “I forgot that you were coming. I- Tobio’s been sick since Wednesday, and I-”

Yui’s face morphs as soon as Daichi says the word _sick_ , and if he weren’t still standing in the doorway, she might be in the apartment already, pulling her baby out of Daichi’s arms.

“It’s bad timing,” he says, “what with you starting your break, and-”

“Daichi, it’s fine,” she says, calm, but with worry simmering under the surface. Tobio’s always been fairly healthy, as far as toddlers go, so the reality of an illness affecting their child is a little more nerve- wracking than it should be, even when both of them know it’s likely nothing to worry about.

“Now,” she says, squaring back her shoulders, “can I come in?”

There’s been something tumultuous to their relationship, since the divorce. It’s hard, going from friendship to a sudden marriage, and then a split, hard to know how to act, what kind of lines to draw when there were none before. It puts a strain on their interactions, a low level of stress through all their conversations and meetups, one that Tobio even picks up on sometimes, despite their best efforts to keep it tucked away. But now, he sees a spark of the old Yui, that stubborn, fighting spirit of hers, one that’s braced for an argument should she be refused her son.

“Of course,” he says, stepping aside to let her in.

She slips off her shoes and tucks them neatly beside Tobio’s tiny sneakers, and then runs her palms over her shirt. Nervousness, like she doesn’t quite know what to do now that she’s inside.

He jostles Tobio a little bit, until he turns his head to look at her.

“Look who’s here, Tobio,” he says.

Tobio takes a minute to stare, probably still confused as to why he was being woken up, but then he whines, and holds out his hands, and tucks himself neatly under Yui’s smile. There’s some kind of mess of noise coming from him, all twisted up in hiccups and coughs and snotty sobs, but Yui shushes him easily. There’s a pang of familiarity in the way she rocks him, the soft sway, back and forth, like she used to do when he was a baby. Daichi has to tamp the memory down.

“Has he been to the doctor’s?”

“Yeah, we went earlier today. Said it’s just a cold, and it should pass within a week with rest. I haven’t packed any of his stuff, let me-”

“Daichi.”

He turns back, looking at Yui over his shoulder.

“I don’t want to encroach on your time, but- can we just sit for a minute? Visit?”

“Uh, yeah, I guess. You want something to drink?”

He makes Yui’s tea just the way she’s always taken it by mere habit; they haven’t actually been in each other’s company long enough to have tea for a while, but he still knows precisely how much lemon and honey she likes.

When he steps back into the living room, Tobio’s a little more lively than he has been the past few days, sitting up in Yui’s lap and chattering softly. He squawks when Daichi pulls out a tissue to wipe his nose, but the tears have subsided, for now.

He listens as Tobio talks to her, animated in a way that he’s usually not, even though he’s sick. Fondness aches heavily in his chest, fondness for Yui and their son, and the tiny, emerging hope that the two of them can be friends again.

In between Tobio’s stories, Daichi surprises even himself by offering exposition, telling Yui about daycare and the new foods Tobio’s been trying, even a little about work. Tobio drags her up out of her chair and pulls her to the fridge, so she can marvel over his artwork. And then he wants to play, but-

“Honey, Mama’s here to pick you up, so you can go play at her house for a little while. Remember we talked about this?”

He’s trying to give Tobio his medicine, but he’s awfully good at ducking his little head away from the spoon, screeching when Daichi manages to slip the spoon inside his mouth. He’s anticipating a meltdown, especially since Tobio’s been thrown off his routine the past few days, and has been demanding extra cuddles, but Tobio doesn’t seem to care much that Daddy’s told him it’s time to go to Mama’s house. He lets Tobio scamper out of the kitchen once he’s sure the medicine has been swallowed, and sighs when he looks up at Yui.

“He’s doing better with the separation anxiety,” he says, and she smiles.

“I’m glad. He- you both seem to be doing really well.”

Daichi laughs a little, and ducks his head. The visiting is going better than he expected, and he’s grateful.

“So,” Yui starts, “I’m seeing someone.”

“Oh? That’s, I mean, that’s great.”

“It is. It really is. I, um-”

She stops, hesitant, and looks a little wildly around the kitchen. Daichi knows her well enough to recognize that she’s nervous. He waits.

“I, I just- He’s a great guy, and it’s been a few months, and I wouldn’t say it’s serious yet, but it could be, y’know?”

“Sure.”

“And, if things keep going well, I want him to meet Tobio.”

If this were two years ago, when the fighting had started, and separation was on the back of both of their minds, Daichi knows his reaction would be immediate and explosive. There’s still a part of him that lurches at Yui’s announcement, a surge of protectiveness that hits him like a punch to the gut. His thoughts still immediately turn selfish; Tobio needs a mother, and how can Yui be there for him if she’s busy with someone else? But then-

It’s easier, now, to let the hotheadedness dissipate in favor of logic.

“And like I said, it’d only be if things continue to go well. You both are doing really well, and I know Tobio’s been struggling, so of course I want to make sure he’d be able to handle it, I just. I wanted you to know.”

She finishes strongly, squaring off her shoulders again, and Daichi feels another surge besides the protectiveness, a rush of affection for her.

“Of course. I- thanks for telling me.”

“Are you seeing anyone?”

He feels the tips of his ears burn, probably the same way Yui’s cheeks start to go red, as she slaps a hand to her mouth, horrified.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“It’s fine, uh. You know, it’s not a big deal. I’m not, um. But, there is someone I’m interested in, so I’ve been thinking about it.”

She nods sharply, her mouth closed in a tight line. She’s probably mortified, and in all honestly, he kind of is, too, but it’s fine, it’s not a big deal. Just another awkward part of their whole relationship.

“Good, that’s good. I think that would be nice. For you.”

“Yeah. We’ll see.”

She smiles, a little tightly, just as Tobio’s pushing his way past her legs with a handful of toys. It takes Daichi a fair amount of redirection before he can get Tobio to help him with packing his things for Yui’s house. But it’s part of their routine, every time Tobio goes to his mother’s house, that they spend time packing Tobio’s stuff while Daichi reiterates where he’ll be going. Tobio doesn’t cry when he’s all curled up in Yui’s arms, too tired now to whine. Daichi kisses his cheek and his forehead, and accepts Tobio’s messy kiss, and impulsively hugs Yui before the pair of them head out the door.

He’s left alone in the quiet apartment, but it feels okay this time. Progressive.

Daichi digs out his laptop and turns it on. He has work to catch up on, and he’ll be putting time in tomorrow, but that’s fine. He catches sight of Tobio’s door as he walks past, Shouyou’s invitation taped near the top. He hadn’t forgotten about the aquarium, and the promise to organize another time for the boys to get together, but the week had been hectic enough that it hadn’t been at the forefront of his mind. He digs his phone out of the mess it was buried under, on the counter of all places, and unlocks it. A few emails from work, a few texts from co-workers, one from his old college buddy, but nothing from-

Before he can think too hard, he taps out a quick message and hits _send_ , and tosses his phone onto the side table. He doesn’t think about it, just immerses himself in his work, but he’s pleased all the same. He’s not usually this impulsive, but today has apparently put him a good mood.

 

* * *

 

 Shouyou won’t let go.

The two of them are red-eyed, worn out, but Shouyou refuses to let go of him. Even when he tells Suga he has to go to the bathroom, it’s a fight to get his little arms from around Suga’s neck.

He should be doing a better job of being firm with Shouyou, keep his clinginess to a low level so it’s easier to cope with the loss, but-

He’s too tired. He’s stretched too thin, and as much as Shouyou finds a comfort in him, Suga finds comfort in Shouyou. It’s hard to keep his own tears at bay when Shouyou asks, and asks, and _asks_ where his mother is, crying hard enough that his sobs turn to hiccups. Suga can only hold him close and shush him gently. As much as he’d like to be able to reassure Shouyou, he can’t. He has exactly as many answers as Shouyou does.

He walks all the way to the office, Shou wrapped tightly around him. He usually takes the train, but with the sporadicity of Shouyou’s tears, he’d rather keep the both of them moving and out of any enclosed spaces with strangers to stare at them. Even on the streets, people try not to get caught staring, when Shouyou breaks out into tears again, but at least it’s short-lived scrutiny.

He’s surprised that he’s not running late, when he turns a corner and the office building is finally in sight. There’s a digital clock outside a bank close by, and he usually sees it as he’s running off his train, ten or fifteen minutes late, but according to that clock, he’s actually early today. He waits at the cross walk with Shouyou held tight in his arms, quiet for now, and then crosses when the light changes.

He’s startled when the front door opens, and Akaashi steps out.

“Sugawara-san,” he says, the only indication to his surprise a slight raising of his eyebrows.

“Hello, Akaashi. Haven’t seen you in a while.”  
  
“Same. Although from what Iwaizumi-san tells me, we’ve both been busy. Nice to see you, though. And you, Shouyou.”

Shouyou’s liked Akaashi from the day they met; he’s always treated Shouyou very much like an adult, listening to him with the same kind of seriousness with which he treats his work. He’s very tolerant, too, having been blessed with the experience of Shouyou throwing up on him, and merely waving it off in the middle of Suga’s frantic apologies.

Suga can feel Shouyou turning his head against the crook of his neck. He reaches one little hand out when Akaashi smiles at him, squeezing Akaashi’s fingers briefly, before curling up against Suga’s chest again.

“Sorry,” Suga says, when Shou’s tucked up against him, “we’re not having a very good day.”

“That’s alright. I’ve got to run anyway. Call me sometime.”  
  
“Sure.”

“I’m serious,” Akaashi says, his dark-eyed stare almost intense enough to make Suga look away. “Update me on your life.”  
  
“I will.”

The receptionist greets both of them with a bright smile that fades when her enthusiasm isn’t met by Shouyou. Suga would stop, and try to explain, but he can’t summon the energy to.

He just wants to get this meeting over with so they can head back home and see about dinner and bedtime.

“Sugawara, hey,” Hajime says, when Suga’s buzzed into his office. His glance lingers a little longer, when he sees Shouyou, but then he’s turning back to his computer.

“You’re early.”

“I know. We’ve been out walking.”

“Everything all right?” Hajime asks, carefully neutral.

He’s not sure what to say, how to explain it all, _if_ he even wants to explain it all. He slides his bag off, and sits down on one of the comfy chairs in front of Hajime’s desk, settling Shouyou on his lap.

“Shouyou’s going to be staying with me for a while,” he says eventually, running his hand over Shouyou’s messy hair. He can sense that Hajime’s looking over at him, with that analytical gaze of his, but he knows enough about Suga’s family to piece together his own explanation.

“We can do this at another time,” Hajime starts, but Suga shakes his head.

“No, this is fine. I need- both of us- need to stay on track.”

Suga’s once again thankful for his stoic editor, as Hajime makes no comment, and dives straight into their meeting after that.

It’s good to have something to focus on, even if it’s just a boring, routine meeting between the two of them. Suga thinks Shou might’ve fallen asleep after a while, given the way his weight has slumped heavily over Suga’s chest, but he stirs after a bit, sitting up in Suga’s lap, and then cautiously sliding off to pull out the basket of toys Hajime keeps tucked away in one corner.

He eventually wanders over towards Hajime’s desk, driving one of the little cars over the carpet noiselessly, and then presumably up Hajime’s legs. Hajime doesn’t bat an eye, though, just ducks his gaze once to see what’s going on, and leaves Shouyou to it.

Suga smiles a bit, when he sees Shou’s little hands gripping the edges of Hajime’s desk, and watches his fluffy head appear. The meeting ends with Shouyou in Hajime’s lap, driving his car back and forth over the surface of Hajime’s desk, making quiet motor sounds to himself.

“It’s a good start,” Hajime says, bouncing Shou a little, “plenty to work with. We should have a read through done in a couple weeks, and then we’ll meet again and talk about the edits.”

“Sure. Sounds good.”

Hajime stands up and passes Shouyou back to Suga. He wouldn’t say his spirits are lifted, exactly, but seeing a more upbeat Shou helps.

Hajime walks with them down the hallway, all the way to the elevator.

“Take care of yourself, Suga,” he says, while they wait. “Call if you need anything.”

“That’s generous of you.”

“I’m serious. Don’t overload yourself.”

“You better watch it, Hajime, you’re starting to sound like Tooru.”

Hajime’s whole face crumples, and Suga laughs as the elevator doors open, he and Shou stepping inside. Shouyou’s content to drive his car over Suga’s shoulders for a few seconds, but then he’s squirming to be let down so he can try to touch the buttons.

The day’s heat clings heavily, when he and Shouyou step outside once again. Suga pulls loosely at his shirt, the last dregs of cool, conditioned air evaporating in wisps. He decides to risk the train, as Shouyou seems to be much more like himself now. Still a little more quiet than usual, but closer to his usual level of energy.

“What shall we have for dinner, Shou?” he asks, Shouyou planted firmly on his lap in the bustling train car.

“Ice cream,” he says, softly, distracted by his toy.

“Maybe after dinner.”

“Really?”

“We’ve got to decide on real food first, though.”

“Eggs.”

“Okay. Pick a vegetable.”

“Carrot.”

“Eggs and carrots. That sounds good.”

Shouyou wants to carry the bag with the eggs in it, but Suga’s already learned he’s not quite old enough for that responsibility. He has to bargain outside the little corner market, until he’s managed to persuade Shou into carrying the bag with the ice cream in it, instead. In return, Shouyou gets to wear an apron and beat the eggs. Which turns his kitchen into half a disaster, but nothing a handful of dishrags can’t fix.

He forgets all about checking his phone until Shouyou’s long since gone to bed, and he’s staring at the screen of his computer, gripped by insomnia. There’s a bunch of messages from Tooru, a couple from his mother, and-

One from Daichi.

He hates the way his heart leaps in his chest. At just the _notification_ of a message! He groans, embarrassed by himself, and rolls over, setting his computer aside.

**From: Sawamura  
6:03 pm**

_I forgot all about another playdate for the boys. It’s been one of those weeks, you know? We should have another one, when it’s convenient, I mean. I think Tobio would love it!_

**To: Sawamura  
** **11:26 pm**

_i definitely know what you mean about one of those weeks. i’ve got shou full time now, and i’ve just finished up my draft, so we’re both pretty open. let us know when you’re free._

**From: Sawamura  
** **11:27 pm**

_Sounds good._

**From: Sawamura  
** **11:28 pm**

_Everything okay with Shouyou?_

He stops. Numbness settles into his chest. He wasn’t expecting an answer this late at night, never mind a text that bites right to the heart of all the garbage going on in his life.

 **To: Sawamura  
** **11:32 pm**

_his mom’s not doing great right now, so he’s going to stay with me for a while_

**From: Sawamura  
** **11:33 pm**

_Ah, I see. I’m sorry to hear that  
Anything I can do for you guys?_

**To: Sawamura  
** **11:40 pm**

_no, we’ll be fine_

**From: Sawamura  
** **11:41 pm**

_I’m serious Suga. Anything at all_

**From: Sawamura  
** **11:43 pm**

_Don’t feel like you have to pile all the stress on yourself_

**From: Sawamura  
** **11:44 pm**

_Even if it’s just a popsicle or something_

**To: Sawamura  
** **11:48 pm**

 _thanks_  
_we’ll be alright though, just need a little time to make some adjustments_  
_although i might take you up on that popsicle offer someday  
_ _so, playdate sometime soon?_

 **From: Sawamura  
** **11:49 pm**

 _The offer stands  
_ _Yeah, soon! Tobio’s at his mother’s until week after next, I think, so want to plan on two weekends from now?_

 **To: Sawamura  
** **11:55 pm**

_yeah, that sounds good_

**From: Sawamura  
** **11:56 pm**

 _My place?  
_ _Since I’ve already barged my way into your apartment._

 **To: Sawamura  
** **11:59 pm**

_well since you offered…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [tumblr](downmoonwrites)


	3. Chapter 3

Daichi lives in a nice neighborhood.

Well, so does _he_ , but it’s nice in an eclectic, cluttery type of way, where all his neighbors are a little weird, but kind all the same.

Daichi lives in the kind of neighborhood that people actually _describe_ as nice. The kind of neighborhood that makes him feel like he’s walked into a pamphlet about nice neighborhoods.

Suga looks down at the little scrap of paper with Daichi’s address on it, lurching when Shouyou pulls on his hand. He’s just the tiniest bit intimidated, now that he’s actually on Daichi’s street. Before, he was a little excited, a little thrilled, that Daichi had invited them over. The texting back and forth had stirred up the little crush, too.

 _Embarrassing_ , but whatever. Things were getting easier by the day, and so what? So what he’s a little giddy?

They stop in front of a huge complex (well, not _really_ huge, but huge comparison to Suga’s own little three-story building), Suga double-checking his scrap of paper again.

“Is this it, Suga-chan?”

“You’re asking me, Shou? _You’re_ the one who’s been here before. You should be telling me.”

“I don’t remember.”

Suga laughs.

“Let’s go check the buzzers.”

This _is_ it. Shouyou gets a good kick out of getting to ring the bell, and announcing that they’ve arrived. Daichi laughs warmly while talking with Shouyou, and Suga pretends the flush on his neck is just from the heat.

Nothing else.

“Hey, you made it,” Daichi says, when he opens the door. He smiles warmly when Shouyou jumps in his excitement, laughs warmly when Shou pushes past his legs, he’s just.

So warm.

_Your brain is better than this. Come on, brain. Dig up a better description._

Inside, the apartment’s much more...lived in, than he expected. He _may_ have been picturing an immaculate, spartan, modern type of apartment, but there’s little bits of clutter tucked into the corners, a toy here and there. Cups on the coffee table.

“Sorry it’s a bit of a mess,” Daichi says, when he closes the door, “Tobio got back yesterday, and we haven’t had much time to clean.”

“Oh! No, please, you’re fine. It’s fine. It’s nice. You have a nice place.”

Daichi smiles, and Suga has to look away. Tobio chooses that moment to trot through the living room, Shouyou buzzing around him.

“Hello, Tobio! It’s very nice to see you again.”

Tobio stares at him silently, like he’s making up his mind about something, but then his mouth quirks into a sweet, dimpled smile, and he scampers away.

“He’s very happy today, isn’t he?” Suga asks, when the boys have headed to the back of the apartment.

“He’s been doing very well, lately. He was sick a couple weeks ago, but then he spent some time at his mom’s, and did good there, from what I heard.”

“That’s really great.”

“Yeah,” Daichi says, nodding his head. He’s still grinning, has been since the door opened. Suga tries desperately to not think of it as _cute_.

“Are you alright, Suga? You look a little red.”

“Huh? _Oh_ , no I’m fine- I just- it’s hot-”

“You want a drink? Let me get you something.”

“No, it’s fine, really-”

But Daichi’s already headed towards the kitchen. Suga feels awkward standing there in the middle of the living room, by himself, so he hesitantly follows.

Turns out, Daichi’s apartment is just full of surprises, because the kitchen?

It’s huge.

“Oh my god,” he says, when he turns the corner.

He’s vaguely aware that Daichi’s head turns from somewhere near the fridge, probably to stare, but he’s a little too busy being stunned by the kitchen to notice.

He didn’t even know rooms this size could fit into apartments.

“This is the biggest kitchen I’ve ever seen,” he says, a bit dreamily, and Daichi laughs.

“It _was_ one of the selling points, when I was looking for a place.”

His focus turns to Daichi, who approaches him, glass in hand, and he realizes in that moment that the kitchen isn’t actually _huge_. There’s an openness to it, big windows letting in lots of light, wide countertops, but it’s cleverly arranged, and neatly organized. It’s still bigger than his own stuffy, dim little kitchen, but the enormity of it isn’t as overwhelming when the perspective actually comes into play.

“This is _amazing._ ”

“Heh, thanks. It’s pretty fun. I use it every chance I get, which is a little difficult with work, but…”

_He cooks. Oh lord, he cooks._

“...you know? Do you do any cooking? Suga?”

“Huh? Oh! Uh, not a lot. Pretty simple things if I am. I don’t have much spare time when I’m working.”

“Right, yeah. Understandable.”

“I never really learned very much about it, anyway. Didn’t have much of an opportunity.”

Daichi stares at him. Suga takes a sip of his drink. Daichi plunks down his glass on the island countertop.

“Uh-”

“You know what? Put cooking lessons on whatever list you have that popsicle I owe you on.”

“Daichi, oh my god, you don’t have to-”

“No, it’ll be totally fun. Playdate for the kids, cooking lessons for us.”

Suga laughs at Daichi’s eagerness. He can’t help himself, not when Daichi’s grinning so earnestly.

“We can start today. I was thinking oyakodon for lunch. Want to help out?”

He’s blushing again. He can feel the way the heat creeps up his throat and settles on his cheeks. But it’s pleasant, excited. Silly, like being an overly nervous teenager again.

“That sounds nice-”

“Suga-chan!”

Shouyou bursts into the kitchen with fistfuls of toys. The most Suga can untangle from the mess of his words is _legos_ , which are currently flying from his grip and hitting the floor with plasticky pings.

“Shou, stop, you’re making a mess. Let’s pick these up, okay?”

“Legos, Suga-chan!”

“I know, it’s very exciting. But they’re Tobio’s toys, and you need to be respectful.”

He bends down to pick up the blocks. Shouyou tries to help, but his hands are too full to do anything but spill more. Suga has to hold his palms open and let Shouyou dump all the legos into his hands. He can see Tobio in his peripheral, near the doorway, squatting down to pick up a stray block. He’s wondering if Tobio might be bold enough to bring the lego over here, and deposit it in the small collection growing in Suga’s hands-

Oh, nope.

Tobio scoots over towards his father, arms outstretched, until Daichi picks him up. Suga can hear the two of them talking to each other, a hushed conversation behind his back, as he’s directing Shouyou towards more of the scattered legos. And then there are two dark heads beside him, crouched down to his level.

“Suga, we have something to ask you,” Daichi says, gently turning Tobio so he faces Suga, instead of hiding his face against Daichi’s shoulder. He still can’t quite make eye contact, but the dimply grin is back.

“Ready, Tobio? Say ‘Suga-san, will you play legos with us?’”

“Suga-sa’, will you play legos wi’ us?”

Tobio’s so bashful, so sweet, so different from the intense little boy he first met. Suga feels his heart go to pieces.

Which is how he finds himself camped out on Tobio’s floor, navigating the wild imaginations of two very creative little boys. It must be some time later when Daichi appears in the doorway. Suga doesn’t notice, at first, not until Tobio disappears from his side. And then Shouyou’s scrambling out of his lap to see where Tobio went, leaving Suga with a handful of blocks and a half-finished tower.

“I see I’m interrupting some valuable construction time.”

“Dai-san, do you see? The tower has the space station inside! It protects from the aliens!”

“That’s great, Shouyou. Suga’s doing a good job of building it, isn’t he?”

“Yes!”

Shouyou flies back to the tower, once again animated and excited, even though he was starting to settle down in Suga’s lap less than a minute ago. Tobio drags Daichi over, so he can start piling different figures into Daichi’s hands, telling a story about each one. Shouyou wants to join in, too, but Suga has to keep him from interrupting.

“Tobio,” Daichi has to say, after a steady, bubbling conversation, “I know you want to keep playing, but it’s time for lunch.”

“Lunch!”

“Shou, no shouting, please,” Suga says.

Still, Daichi’s smiling at the outburst. He pushes Tobio’s hair out of his eyes.

“Let’s put the legos down for now, okay? We need to wash our hands.”  
  
“Play later?”

“Yes, we can play after we eat.”

Tobio seems to allow this compromise, with a little furrow of his brow. He shows Shouyou to the bathroom, and pulls out a little stool tucked underneath the sink, so the both of them can wash their hands. Daichi supervises, and then inspects their hands for cleanliness, making a big deal out of judging the job they did. Suga has to tuck his smile behind his own hand, at two _very_ concerned little faces.

“Alright, I suppose you’ll both pass. Let’s go have lunch.”

Tobio doesn’t shout, but he jumps a little in excitement, and scrambles out of the bathroom. Shouyou, however, _does_ shout, and bolts after Tobio.

 

There’s cooking, and then there’s _cooking_.

Suga himself, he’s firmly planted in the ‘cooking’ end of the spectrum- basic, simple, sometimes a little burnt. The extent of his creativity usually extends to adding globs of chili sauce to his food. But _Daichi_.

He’s on an entirely different level of cooking proficiency.

“You know, it’s a shame I missed out on the cooking lesson. This is wonderful,” Suga says, trying very hard not to shovel his food into his mouth.

“Ah, I'm glad you think so.”

It's too hot for the kotatsu, but Daichi had lugged it out anyway, at Tobio's insistence, and they all kneel around it, with the blanket tucked under their knees. Suga had supervised the boys, as they proceeded to set the places, half-caught in their contagious delight of being given such an important job. And then Daichi had lifted the both of them up onto the counter, so they could each choose their own bowls to eat out of.

It's very sweet, how pleased they both are, trying to sit primly at the kotatsu, Shouyou doing his best to imitate Suga's posture. He's just a little too squirmy to quite manage it.

“Next time,” Daichi says. “We’ll squeeze in some learning time next time you come over.”

“Guess I can’t escape it, huh?”

“Nope.”

He’s grinning again, Daichi is. Suga gets the vaguest sense that he’s being teased, but again, it’s a rush of pleasantness tripping warmly through him. He can’t help but smile in return, at least, until Shouyou knocks over his cup, and latches a sticky, rice-covered, juice-stained hand onto the side of Suga’s shirt.

His _white_ shirt.

 

“This was really great, Daichi. Thank you for inviting us over.”

“Absolutely. I’m glad you could make it.”

Suga has to give Shouyou a little shake, until he chirps out a thank you, too, and then-

He’s hit with the realization he doesn’t want to go.

It’s a very short bubble of a thought, and he squashes it down quickly, plays it off with a nervous laugh, and shifts Shouyou higher on his hip. He forces himself to make his way out the door, both he and Shouyou waving goodbye.

“Did you have fun, Shou?” Suga says, when they’re heading back to the train station.

“Yes.”

“Do you want to have Tobio over sometime?”

“No.”

“Oh?”

Shouyou lifts his head, from where he had it tucked against Suga’s shoulder, and furrows his brow very seriously.

“Tobio-chan has cool legos. And you smile lots at Dai-san.”

He plunks his head back onto Suga’s shoulder, plucking idly at Suga’s sleeve with little fingers, like he hasn’t just delivered the very embodiment of all those fluttery feelings Suga’s been dealing with all day.

Of course he wouldn’t care about bluntness. He’s four.

Still, it’s enough to stun Suga into silence, as Shouyou nods off on the rest of the way home.

 

* * *

 

 **To: Daichi  
** **7:53 pm**

_thanks for everything today!! shouyou conked out before we even got home, but he had a great time_

**From: Daichi  
** **7:55 pm**

 _Haha, Tobio passed out a little while after you guys left. Right in the middle of the living room.  
_ _img_054 attached_

 **To: Daichi  
** **7:56 pm**

_AHHH!! he’s so cute. what a sweetheart._

**From: Daichi  
** **7:57 pm**

 _He was very happy you were coming over  
_ _You guys doing alright, by the way?_

 **From: Daichi  
** **8:08 pm**

_I’m sorry if that’s too personal_

**To: Daichi  
** **8:11 pm**

 _no, it’s not  
_ _it’s sweet of you to check up on us_

 **From: Daichi  
** **8:12 pm**

_Of course. Please tell me if I’m ever too forward, though._

**To: Daichi  
** **8:13 pm**

 _yeah, I doubt that will ever happen (￣ω￣)  
_ _but I will_

 **To: Daichi  
** **8:17 pm**

 _we’re good, now. my sister, she has some issues, and she’s had some issues in the past, but right now, she’s finally doing what she needs to do to take care of herself_  
_that just doesn’t include shouyou at the moment. until she can get her shit together  
_ _and it’s hard, not only for us, but for my sister too, but it needs to happen_

 **To: Daichi  
** **8:23 pm**

_sorry oh my god. that’s so much rambling_

**From: Daichi  
** **8:25 pm**

 _No! Please. It’s totally fine. It’s a lot for your family to handle  
_ _Kind of random question, but did something happen with her at Shouyou’s birthday party?_

 **To: Daichi  
** **8:29 pm**

 _ah, yeah  
_ _she promised she’d be there, but she called right in the middle of it to tell us she wouldn’t make it_

 **From: Daichi  
** **8:32 pm**

 _Ouch_  
_I’m sorry  
_ _I only asked because I remember you looked a little upset towards the end of it, and at the time I didn’t know how to ask if you were alright._

 **To: Daichi  
** **8:35 pm**

 _ugh, you’re literally the sweetest person i’ve ever met_  
_yeah, it was a bummer at the time.  
_ _not unexpected, if i’m totally honest_

 **From: Daichi  
** **8:36 pm**

_Sorry._

**From: Daichi  
** **8:51 pm**

 _I don’t mean to harp on you about this, but really, if you or Shouyou need anything_  
_And I mean anything_  
_Babysitting_  
_Popsicles_  
_Dinner_  
_Or even just someone to vent to  
_ _Please don’t feel like it’d be a burden to ask_

 **From: Daichi  
** **8:52 pm**

 _I mean, if you’re comfortable.  
_ _I know we don’t actually know each other that well, but still. It’s an open invitation._

 **To: Daichi  
** **8:56 pm**

 _thanks daichi  
_ _it means a lot_

 

* * *

 

  **To: Yui**

**9:25 pm**

_Hey so_  
_Remember when we were talking about dating and all that? Two weeks ago or something?  
_ _I think I’ve come to a decision about that._

 **From: Yui  
** **9:43 pm**

 _Daichi!!!!!  
_ _Tell me everything!_

 

* * *

 

Editing time is the stressful time.

In theory, it shouldn’t be, either. It should be the _writing_ of the book that’s the stressful part, not the cleaning up.

 _Writing_ the book is staying up until the sun starts peeking through the curtains.

Two days without showering.

Forgetting to eat until Tooru shows up with something.

Turning in the draft before Hajime really starts getting angry.

 _Editing_ the book is like writing it all over again, but with Hajime a constant pressure against the back of his neck.

Suga finds it difficult, partnering up with someone, in a sense. Hajime- or his staff, whom Suga more often works with- they’re all great, amazing people, but damn. They must’ve all gone through the same training on tearing drafts apart, because getting feedback from them is downright brutal. It’s hard to feel like he constantly has to defend his work, even if it is the point of the editors.

So he sighs heavily when he opens up the latest email from Hajime. The number of comments on one page alone looks like a battlefield of red. Like a grammar minefield that exploded.

_Heh._

His phone buzzes with the alarm he has to set, to make sure Shouyou gets to daycare on time. They took a break for a few weeks, but now that work’s back in full swing, they need the structure. It helps Shouyou, too, to forget that his mom’s not going to take him home for a while.

Tooru shows up somewhere in the middle of breakfast-making, buzzing at the door insistently, until Suga runs over with egg coating his hands, to fumble open the door with his elbows.

“Oh? Are we cooking, Suga-chan?”

“Just trying some things.”

“This wouldn’t have to do with the lovely time you had over at a certain handsome-man-and- adorable-child’s home a while ago, would it?”

Suga stares at Tooru, the smug curl of his lip, the delight of knowing something Suga clearly hadn’t told him oozing out of his faux-nonchalance.

“At this point, I guess I can’t say I’m surprised that you know about the things that go on in my life when you weren’t even there.”

Tooru sniffs.

“What are we having for breakfast?” he says, unceremoniously dumping his things into a chair.

“Shouyou and I are trying out oyakodon.”

“Ooh, you’re moving right on up in the world, Suga-chan. Did your date really go that well that you’re trying your hand at cooking? We both know how that usually goes- _ow!_ That hurt, Suga-chan!”

Suga doesn’t get the chance to say what he wants to say, as Shouyou shouts and bounces his way over to Tooru. He has to rush back to the skillet, anyway, so nothing catches on.

All in all, it turns out pretty decent. Tooru doesn’t quite compliment the dish, but he hums a fluttery little noise when he takes his first bite, and he doesn’t spit it out onto his plate.

He’ll take that as a good sign.

Suga taps out a quick message to Daichi when all three of them are heading out the door, and maybe he’s a little enthusiastic about not burning anything, but so what.

It’s an accomplishment. And anyway, Daichi gives the enthusiasm right back to him.

“Who’s he _texting_ , Shou-chan?” Tooru says, thinking himself terribly funny, no doubt.

Shouyou cranes his head from his place in Tooru’s arms, and watches Suga tuck his phone away.

“Who you textin’, Suga-chan?”

“I’m telling Daichi-san how good you did with the recipe for oyakodon this morning.”

“I did good!”

“You sure did, sweetheart.”

He doesn’t miss the side eye Tooru’s giving him, but he keeps his gaze steadfastly forward as they walk, and doesn’t pull out his phone again.

 

Tooru makes a big fuss about hugging Shouyou goodbye when they’re outside the daycare. They’re peas in a pod, those two, with a flourish for dramatics, and Suga rolls his eyes not once, but twice, while trying to wait patiently for them to finish up. When Tooru finally loosens his hold on Shouyou, Suga has to snatch up Shou’s hand, so they don’t start up again.

“What will you do today, Suga-chan?”

“I’ve got to work on my writing. Hajime-san sent me lots of corrections to work on.”

“Does Iwa-chan-san write, too?”

“No, he doesn’t. He corrects things that other people write. Don’t call him ‘Iwa-chan,’ honey, he doesn’t like it.”

“Iwa- _chan.”_

“Call him Hajime-san.”

“Ha-ji-me- _san.”_

Shouyou skips all the way down the hallway to his classroom. He tries to shove all his things into his cubby and run off, but Suga makes him come back and neaten things out. As Suga encourages him to straighten his lunchbox, he notices a little presence by his side.

“Hello, Tobio.”

Tobio doesn’t say anything, just stares at him with great big eyes and curls his fingers in the fabric of Suga’s shirt. Shouyou finishes jamming his stuff into his cubby and shouts, when he spins around and sees Tobio. He’d probably drag him off to play, if another adult hadn’t slipped up behind Tobio, running a hand over his hair.

“Tobio, what are you doing, honey?”

“Oh, it’s fine, I’m-”

Suga stumbles to his feet, his legs a bit numb from how he’d been crouching next to Shouyou.

“I’m sorry about Tobio, if he was bothering you.”  
  
“Oh no, he’s totally fine. He and Shouyou are friends, it’s not a big deal.”  
  
“Oh, Shouyou? You must be Suga, then. Right?”

He’s a little taken aback by the expression on her face, a mix of confusion and something else. Something he can’t quite put a finger on. But then Tobio’s curled around her leg, and as her gaze slips downward, her expression changes effortlessly. It takes him a minute, staring at the curve of her smile, a dimpled smile that looks so familiar…

Suga’s stung by the realization, when it finally hits him. She must be-

“I’m Yui. I’m Tobio’s mom.”

_She’s pretty. Bright. Sweet._

“Daichi had mentioned that Tobio’s made a new friend.”

“Yes.”

“Such an energetic little guy, too.”

“Ah. Yep. That’s Shou.”

He’s already managed to pull Tobio off to the corner with the blocks, despite Yui’s appearance. Suga watches the two of them from the corner of his eye.

“Daichi mentioned that you guys have had some playdates for the boys?”

“Uh. Yeah, oh yeah! Just a couple, when time permits, you know, but they’re fun. The boys seem to enjoy them.”

“That’s um. That’s nice. I’m sure you’ve noticed Tobio isn’t too sociable, so hearing that he has a friend is really. It’s really. Great.”

The teacher’s starting to round up the kids, so Suga and Yui slip out the door. He’s desperate to escape this stilted conversation, because that part of her expression he couldn’t figure out a moment ago has become clear now.

It’s discomfort.

“Well, it was-”

“I’ve got to-”

Yui smiles and laughs, but it’s a bit off. Fake. Something polite people do.

“I don’t think Daichi meant for us to meet, but it was. Good to meet you, anyway, Suga. I’m sure I’ll see you around.”

She waves, but Suga can only half-heartedly wave back, a smile forced over his face in response to hers. When she’s out of sight, the smile drops, and twists into something even Tooru notices when he steps outside.

“Are you alright?”

_It’s nothing._

_Push it down._

_Hold it tight._

_Ignore it._

“I’m fine. I’ve got work to do while Shouyou’s at daycare, so I’ll see you later.”

“But, I-”

He doesn’t wait for an answer, and Tooru doesn’t trail after him. He swallows down the sour wave of uncertainty, the one that’s crushed the bud of happiness from this morning. He tries to stop thinking about Yui, her looks, her confidence, the strength with which she holds herself, the ease of her motherhood. He tries to stop thinking about inadequacy.

He ignores it, all these thoughts tickling around the edges of his brain, and settles in for a day of work. He hasn’t slept more than a few hours the past couple days, and there’s something very raw to his exhaustion, a razor-sharp prick of irritation, that forces his mind into focus, but pushes the day past in a blur. He finishes all the edits Hajime wanted before he leaves to pick up Shouyou, then spends another fuzzy few hours taking care of him until he’s put to bed. He stays up another few hours, flipping the encounter with Yui over and over in his mind, until he eventually, mercifully, passes out. 

 

* * *

 

 Tobio wants to press the buzzer. Yui smiles when he stretches his arms up towards her, and she heaves him up. He’s getting so big. Hard to believe he’ll be turning four this year, already.

_“Who is it?”_

“Tobio.”

_“Oh? Tobio made it all by himself today? How independent.”_

Tobio giggles against her shoulder. It’s one of the funny little games he and Daichi play.

“ ‘S Tobio and _Mama!”_

_“Ahhh, I see.”_

The door buzzes, and Yui struggles to pull it open. Damn thing’s heavier than it has any right being.

Tobio bolts down the hallway when the elevator opens onto Daichi’s floor. He can’t run very fast, so it’s easy to keep up with his little steps, all the way up to Daichi’s door.

“Look who it is,” Daichi says when he opens the door. He scoops Tobio up and squeezes him until he squeals and laughs.

Yui feels a little awkward, approaching the door. The last time they’d spoken, well, _texted_ , it had been.

Difficult.

It’d been strained between the two of them for a long time, and she hates that it dips back into strained, after things were starting to get easier. Daichi’s smile falls a bit, when she shuffles closer, but at least he holds the door open to her.

It’s not long before they’re left alone, however, as Tobio squirms out of Daichi’s arms to play with the legos he’d so longingly been talking about.

“So,” Daichi starts, “can I get you a drink or something?”

“I can’t stay,” she says. She drops Tobio’s bag into a chair.

“Yeah. Okay. That’s fine, I didn’t mean to put you on the spot or anything-”

“I met Suga.”

She sees the way Daichi stills, the hard lines of tension in his jaw, across his throat, and she feels a little bad for blurting it out so carelessly. But then she sets her shoulders. They have to talk about it. No use pretending it’s not a sore subject.

“Did you?”

“The other day, when I was dropping Tobio off at daycare. Look, Daichi-”

“I don’t really want to hear about it, alright? How you’re _uncomfortable_ or whatever. It’s not fair to me.”

“You’re right.”

Daichi’s grinding his teeth. That bad habit he hasn’t kicked in all the time she’s known him.

“You’re absolutely right,” she says, “but listen.”

“I don’t want to hear it-”  
  
“Would you _stop_ that? Listen to me. You’re right. You deserve fairness. You deserve happiness, wherever you choose to find it, and with whomever you choose to find it with. I met Suga; he seems very nice. Genuine, and kind. And Tobio likes him. But-”

She hesitates. Swallows the lump in her throat.

“No matter what we are right now, or have been in the past three years, it’s hard to - it’s hard to realize your closest friend has been keeping something from you for so long. And the petty part of me wonders if that’s the driving reason behind the divorce, if I wasn’t good enough for you, or _right_ for you, even though I know that’s not true.”

“Yui-”

She swipes angrily at her eyes, embarrassed to find she’s tearing up.

“Just- Daichi. I know you need support. And you’ll have it from me, I promise, I just need some time to let this all settle, to stop feeling like this is somehow my fault.”

“Yui, it’s not.”  
  
“I know, I know. I’m glad you told me, I really am. Even though I’m _crying,_ what the hell. I swear it’s not you.”

She feels Daichi’s warm touch on her shoulder, a brief press, as she finishes wiping at her eyes. She tries a watery smile, but it’s half-hearted. She’s embarrassed, and emotional. Two things that rarely make up her disposition.

“I’m sorry that turned into such an outburst.”

“It’s fine. I’m glad you told me.”

“I’ve got to run. Bye, Tobio!”

Predictably, Tobio comes running around the corner. She kneels down to hug him.

“Mama, why you cryin’?” he says, pressing his hands to her cheeks. She feels her eyes water up again.

“I’m- I’m crying because I love you so much. Give me a hug, baby. I’ll see you in a couple weeks, okay? Be good for Daddy.”

Daichi doesn’t hug her, but he squeezes her hand at the door.

“You know,” she says, when she’s standing out in the hallway, “I’d like to officially meet Suga, if anything comes of that. Instead of just running into him. He seems like an interesting person.”

“Y-yeah. Ah, we’ll see. I’ll keep you updated.”

“Good.”

She still feels a little shaky, walking down the hallway, out into the bright sunlight, but she feels.

Good. Relieved.

 

* * *

 

“Alright, what’s wrong?”

Suga squints up at Tooru. He has an exquisitely agonizing headache, and the din of noise in the little coffee shop they’re stuck in isn’t helping.

“What are you talking about?”

“Don’t pull that crap with me, Suga.”

The aggression in his tone is surprising; Tooru’s usually unabashedly and unbearably bubbly, or pouting over something silly. He rarely takes the ‘best friend tone’ with Suga.

“You’ve been moping for days.”

“Have not.”

“Not only that, but your work efficiency has been through the roof. So much so that Iwa-chan actually asked me about it.”

Suga frowns. He does not like where this conversation is going.

“I’m always efficient in my work.”

“Not like this. Not like you’re trying to avoid thinking about something.”  
  
“I’m not.”

Tooru sighs, and rubs at his temples. He’s exasperated, Suga knows. He’s hardly ever this transparent in his expressions.

“Just talk to me, Suga. Or _someone_ , your mother, or Daichi-”

He can’t help it- he winces, just slightly when he hears Daichi’s name, but Tooru does not miss the opportunity to pick up on that.

“What’s going on there?” he says softly. Suga’s gaze slides to his cup.

“I met Tobio’s mother.”

He glances up briefly, to check Tooru’s reaction. Nothing but the gentle curve of an eyebrow, a patient sign of waiting.

“I met her at daycare a couple weeks ago, and. She introduced herself. She seemed nice, but. I dunno, it just made me rethink some things.”  
  
“Some things, as in…?”

“Just things.”

Tooru’s mouth is a straight line. A prim, frustrated press of the lips.

“Did you tell Daichi you met Tobio’s mom?”

“No.”

“Have you told him about these _things_ you’ve been pondering?”

“No.”

“Are you and Daichi still texting?”

The answer is there, at the forefront of his mind, on the tip of his tongue, but it’s hard to say. Hard to bring his thoughts into reality.

“Can we not talk about this? My head is killing me.”

“Suga, come _on!_ What happened?”

“I don’t want to talk about this.”

“You need to. You need to talk to someone. I know you’re piling up stress again, have been for weeks, and keeping it all to yourself is no way to cope with it. I can-”

 _“Fine_. Fine, Tooru. You get your way. No, I haven’t been texting Daichi. I met Tobio’s mom and I realized that I’ve been overstepping my boundaries with Tobio and with Daichi. I’m not a parent, I can’t pretend to be a parent, and I can’t pretend like I’m even comparable to her.”

His voice cracks, balancing on the edge of hysteria. His head starts throbbing.

“Suga-”

“I can barely take care of Shouyou, let alone somebody else’s kid, and it’s time that I realized that this game of pretend has got to stop. I don’t even know if Daichi’s gay! I don’t even know-”

He stops. Chokes. There’s a lump in his throat, an awful, burning lump. Helplessness swims through his brain, turns all his thoughts cloudy. He tries to swallow the first sob that creeps out, but it manages to slip out, and he feels the dizzy, nonsensical, lack-of-sleep weight pressing on his common sense. When the first tear rolls down his cheek, unchecked and unwanted, Tooru’s ushering him gently up, grabbing their things and letting Suga run ahead, with a hand pressed over his mouth.

He hates this. The struggle of trying not to cry in the middle of the sidewalk. The wobbly lip. The ache in his throat. He hates that his thoughts all turn to irrationality, to desolation, to the sensation that his entire world is ending.

So _dramatic,_ having a meltdown.

Tooru’s at his elbow, buffeting him along. There’s a little park just down the street, one that they’ll sometimes take Shou to, if Tooru’s managed to rope him into stopping at the café after daycare.

He steers the both of them towards the lone bench. It’s so hot that the shade under which the bench sits doesn’t do much except make him feel more miserable.

“This sucks,” he gasps out, “this summer sucks. Why does it have to suck so much?”

Tooru sits down next to him, the ice in their cups shifting in the heat.

“Because you take too much onto your plate, and you keep it all to yourself. Sorry, darling.”

They sit in silence for a while, nothing but the hazy sound of cicadas buzzing and the noise of the city around them. Suga cries very quietly, his face buried in his palms, his breath shuddering, until it’s seemingly out of his system, and he’s left even more exhausted than before. This is a different kind of exhaustion, though, a bone-deep emptiness that’s laced with more relief than despair. Tooru was right; he’d been bottling too much up for too long.  
  
“I’m sorry, Tooru.”

“For what?”

“For... _this,”_ he says, spreading his hands.

“If you’re apologizing for a very understandable breakdown, don’t. But if you’re apologizing for an _avoidable_ breakdown, then do.”

“I’m sorry for having an avoidable breakdown.”

Tooru’s stretched out beside him, all length of legs and perfect hair despite the awful heat. Their drinks are beading, little rivulets of water running down the cups and dripping onto the bench. The cicadas sound like heat.

“Apology accepted,” Tooru says, after a beat, “if you do your best to keep it from happening again.”

“Tooru-”  
  
“I’m serious, Koushi.”

Suga glances to his left, where Tooru’s gaze cuts sharply into him.

“You’ve got to stop this. We’ve talked about it a hundred times. You’re really bad at letting yourself be happy.”

“I am not, you jerk-”

Tooru holds a hand up.

“You really kinda are. It’s not meant maliciously, just stating fact and observation. Of course, given the particular set of circumstances in which you’ve found yourself these past few months, it’s understandable, but for Christ’s sake, Suga! Stop convincing yourself that you’re incapable of pursuing what you want!”

Time and again, Tooru knows exactly how to strike at his heart. A hot feeling of shame runs through him, at how out of control he’d allowed himself to run without realizing it, and for putting his friend in this situation.

“This sucks, Tooru.”

“I know it does.”

“It’s never easy. Nothing can ever be easy in my life. I have to go through the whole stupid self-doubt thing, and keep it to myself until I’m bawling on a park bench in the middle of the day.”

“Well, you’re talking now. _Finally,_ ” Tooru says, clicking his tongue. Suga huffs out a laugh that sounds stuffy and thick.

“Just let me have a meltdown in peace, would you?”

“Suga-chan, does that sound like something I would do?” 

 

* * *

 

There’s something funny going on in his chest, when he sees Suga slip in the door of the daycare one early morning.

It’s been nothing but radio silence from him for a few days, and sporadic answers to texts before that. A real sudden slip of mood, when things seemed to have been going well between the two of them. Daichi tries very hard to chalk it up to Suga’s schedule, and just leave it alone until whatever it is works itself out, but he’ll sometimes catch himself wondering, or picking over the details of their previous conversations, trying to figure out where he went wrong.

He squeezes Tobio’s hand a little more firmly as they approach the daycare, pushing the thoughts out of his mind. He’ll just drop Tobio off, say hello if he needs to, be pleasant, it’s not Suga’s fault-

“Sawamura-kun! Hey, wait a second!”

Daichi looks around, a little wildly. It’s too early in the day for people to be calling his name, especially when he hasn’t even made it into work yet. He spots Oikawa across the street, waving an arm like a maniac. He waves back, unsure, watches as Oikawa trips down to the crosswalk, and bolts across the street. He has drinks in hand, a bag bouncing wildly across his hip. Overall, he looks more unkempt than Daichi’s ever seen him. And in those two, brief moments of interaction they’d had in the past, Daichi had the idea that Oikawa was _never_ unkempt.

“Oikawa, hey. Good to see you again-”

“Yeah, yeah, nice to see you all, too. Listen-”

Oikawa looms closer, a little out of breath. Daichi takes a step back at the sudden invasion in his space.

“So, about Suga-”  
  
“What about him?”

“He and I had a talk, recently. Well, I talked. He mostly cried.”  
  
_“Cried?_ What’s going on? Is everything okay?”

“It’s fine. Kind of. Okay, that was worded badly. Just- he and I had a talk, and I need you to be aware of something he otherwise wouldn’t tell you.”  
  
Daichi’s mind races, there in the middle of the sidewalk. Trips over life- threatening illness, Shouyou’s custody, something with work, something with-

“He’s into you. He’s _so_ into you. That family man thing is so his style. And Suga’s now managed to convince himself that it’s a bad idea for him to show any interest in you. I know for a fact that you’re into him, too. Don’t give me that look. The two of you are as transparent as jellyfish. Suga’s been busy with his book, I will allow him that one excuse for slipping on the communication thing, but-”

Oikawa stops, his mouth working over his words a few times, before he stops, and starts again.

“He won’t say anything. He’ll backtrack, cut himself off from you. He’ll keep his mouth shut, and let this opportunity pass, because he’s- he’s scared, or stressed, or he’s just- he thinks he’s not worthy of happiness.”

Oikawa glances around, towards the daycare, and then down at Tobio. Daichi looks down at him, too. He’s glowering up at Oikawa, a curious cross of puzzlement and a frown shadowing over his face.

“And maybe this isn’t the best time to say this, but I’m at a loss with him. I know he hasn’t been texting you- I think he decided it’s for the best.”

“What?”

“He’s scared he’s forcing himself into you life. Yours, and Tobio’s.”

“That’s not true. That is in no way true.”

“I know. I told him that like, a hundred times, but I can’t convince him that he's wrong.”

Oikawa stares at him.

Daichi stares back.

He’s not sure what to say, given the situation. Especially with Tobio there.

“So,” Daichi starts. Pauses. Clears his throat. “So, what should we do?”

“There's no _we_. It's  _you._  Say something to him.”

“You want me to say something to Suga?”

_“Please.”_

“Tell him that I’m- that I find him interesting?”

“Sawamura, please. Don’t try to lie to me. I’ve heard enough to know that you two have been flirting with each other for a solid four months. He’s the type to let go of people because he’s worried what they’ll think of him, but you look like the kind of man who doesn’t give things up without a fight.”

Something in Oikawa’s tone sets a bite of heat flaring up in Daichi. That old sense of competition is being stirred up again, driven by the challenge in Oikawa’s gaze, the slight smirk twitching across his mouth.

“You care a lot about him, don’t you?” Daichi says, when he’s made up his mind. Something changes in Oikawa’s face at that; the rawness of his expression is closed off, replaced with something more carefully crafted. Daichi gets the distinct impression that he’s just watched the curtains of Oikawa’s sincerity slam shut.

“What? No. I’m asking you to do this so _I_ don’t have to put up with his moping anymore.”

“Okay.”

“It’s really bringing me down.”

“Okay.”

“Just get him to go on a date with you. Let him know that he’s the perfect man for you. Anyway, you better get sweet little Tobio-chan to school, because there goes Suga, and I’m not sure if I can orchestrate another ‘chance meeting’ like this again.”

Daichi turns around, and sure enough, there’s Suga emerging from the daycare. He curses mentally, as he and Tobio take off. His mind races over too much- he’s not prepared, he doesn’t know what to say, is there a better, more appropriate time to do this- but then, the old fire’s stirring up in him again, fueled by Oikawa’s delicate barbs, and the innate need to prove _someone_ wrong.

There’s plenty that could go less- than- well; he could get rejected right there, in the middle of the sidewalk. He could blurt out the wrong thing. He could miss Suga entirely.

But he decides, much like his younger, impulsive self might-

Fuck it.

“Suga! Hey, Suga!” he calls, “Hey, hold on a sec!”

Suga turns around, sees them both. He’s too far away for Daichi to make out any details about the expression on his face, but he still gets hit with the sense that this could be awkward.

“Suga, please. Let me- let me drop off Tobio, and then let’s talk.”

“About what?”

“Just...stuff. Alright? Just hang on for a minute.”

He doesn’t wait to find out if Suga will stay, instead, guiding Tobio inside and quickly going about their school routine.

"Daddy, wha’s a date?” Tobio says, when Daichi’s helping him change his shoes.

“Ah. Well, it’s something two people who want to get to know each other better go on.”

“Why?”

“They want to learn about the other person. The kinds of things they like to do and food they like to eat and what kind of job they have.”

“Do you like dates?”

“Yeah. Most people do.”

“Does Mama like dates?”

“Yeah, I think she does.”

“Do I like dates?”

“Um, well, you might when you’re older.”

He kisses Tobio goodbye, and makes sure he’s settled in and playing before he slips out. Outside, he looks frantically in both directions, until he spots Suga, much further down the sidewalk than he had been just moments ago. Daichi groans, and takes off in a run, his bag swinging wildly. He’ll be sweaty when he finally makes it into work, but he doesn’t care. The only thing on his mind now is Suga.

“Hey! Hey, wait up. Suga.”

He’s the tiniest bit ashamed that he’s wheezing ever so slightly. Squeezing in gym time is tricky, and all those times he’s just skipped it in favor of playing with his son are made apparent now.

“You didn’t wait for me.”

“I have stuff to work on. I’m sorry, I’ve got to go-”  
  
“No.”

His hand darts out, fingers circling around Suga’s wrist. He looks a little stunned by the grip, and Daichi immediately lets go. His words and his actions are coming out a little harsh, maybe.

_Tone it back. Keep it under control._

“Please, Suga. Can we just talk for a minute?”

Suga looks unsure, chewing on his lip with an air of worry, but he nods.

“I know we’ve fallen out of touch these past few days, but I need you to know that I- I like you.”  
  
“Did Tooru set you up to this? I swear to god I’m going to kill him.”

“No! Well, he did, but it’s more of a nudge than anything. A long overdue nudge. Please, Suga, listen, okay? It’s all coming from a place of honesty.”

Suga bites a little harder on his lip.

“I like you. A lot. Pretty much from the get- go, when I showed up as a stranger to your door with your nephew and my son, and you still welcomed us both into your home. You’re kind, and caring, and you treat Tobio well, and I can’t express how much that means to me. And, you know what? I’m just gonna lay all my cards out here. I- you’re gorgeous, and you’re incredibly fascinating, and you’re intelligent, and every time we meet, or talk, or even text, I can’t wait to find out more about you. I’ve been thinking about this for a long time, so please don’t think it’s insincere. There’s a million things I want to do with you, if I can convince you to have me. Number one: please, please, _please_. Let me take you out.”

There’s a look on Suga’s face, a tension near the eyes. Like he’s working something over and over in his mind. Overthinking. Daichi reaches out again, clasping Suga’s hand gently, relieved when he doesn’t pull away.

“I realize a sidewalk is not the most romantic nor ideal place for a confession,” Daichi says, “but please say something.”

“I-I don’t know what to say.”

“Please say ‘yes, Daichi, I will go out with you.’ But, I mean, only if that’s what you want. All’s I’m asking for is a shot, and if it’s not right, it’s not right. Even if you truly don’t want to go out, that’s okay, too. I just need an honest answer. _Your_ honest answer.”

Suga’s stopped chewing on his lip, but it trembles now, ever so slightly. Daichi’s heart is thumping in his chest, both from the run and anxious anticipation. But then-

Suga’s fingers squeeze against his, and his mouth curves into the barest hint of a smile.

“Okay,” he says, in a soft, whispery voice, like he can’t quite believe it himself.

“Okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Yes?”

“Daichi, stop it already. I said ‘yes’.”

“Oh god, _yes!”_

He could shout, right there. He could dive forward and lift Suga off the sidewalk, spin him around until the two of them were laughing and sick. But he doesn’t, because they are adults, and he’s already felt enough like an awkward teenager for one morning. And plus, it’s-  
  
“Shit. Sorry. Ah, _shit_. Work.”

“Yeah, no, that’s fine.”

“I’ll call you.”

“Yeah.”

“Later tonight.”

Suga smiles, genuinely. _Finally_. Daichi hadn’t realized how much he missed that smile. He’s already taken a few steps towards his car, but he darts back on impulse, pressing a quick kiss to Suga’s cheek. And then he’s off, waving goodbye over his shoulder, grinning like a fool. 

 

* * *

 

“Suga-chan, what’s a date?”

“Yeah, Suga-chan, tell us what a date is.”

Suga sighs, very quietly, so Shouyou won’t notice. He continues fussing with his clothes in the bathroom mirror, ignoring the two owl-eyed pairs of eyes staring at him from the doorway.

“A date,” Suga says, “is when two people go do something fun.”

“Fun? Like play on the swingset?”

“Sometimes.”

“Do they get ice cream?”

“Definitely.”

“Cake?”

“Sure.”

Shouyou leans back in his perch in Tooru’s arms, looking contemplative.

“I wanna go on a date,” he says, very seriously, so seriously that Suga has to fight to keep a more or less straight face.

“Maybe when you’re a little older, sweetheart.”

“Aw, boo. You’re no fun, Suga-chan.”

“Tooru, don’t make me hire a babysitter for the babysitter.”  
  
“Will it be Iwa-chan?”

“Oh my god.”

“Iwa-chan! Is Iwa-chan coming to play with us, Too-chan?”

“I sure wish he would play with me…”

“Tooru, I absolutely did not hear that coming out of your mouth. Shou, I told you to call him Hajime-san, please.”

There’s knocking at the door, and Suga inhales sharply, nerves suddenly blooming in his chest. Tooru’s already halfway across the apartment, Shouyou in tow, but Suga rushes out to the door, and cuts the two of them off, swinging it open.

There’s a man standing outside his door.

Scratch that. Start over.

 _Daichi_ is standing outside his door, terribly handsome, sharply dressed. With a bouquet of-

Oh _god_ , he’s a dream. He brought _flowers._

“Ready?” Suga says, unable to keep quite still.

“Of course,” Daichi says, smiling broadly. The sight of it stirs up the nerves again, but it’s bearable, like bubbles warming his body.

“Bye kids. Have fun. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

Suga doesn’t even bother with a reply, just hands Shouyou the flowers and closes the door in Tooru’s face.

Daichi takes his hand in the elevator. Suga interrupts whatever he’s talking about by kissing him. When he pulls back, shocked at his own boldness, Daichi’s staring at him, his eyes dark and unreadable.  
  
“I’m sorry, oh my god, I’m-”

But then Daichi’s kissing _him_ , his hands running gently over the curve of Suga’s neck, and Suga can’t remember why he waited so long to experience this.

Maybe a kiss _before_ the first date is even over is unconventional, but, well.

That’s okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [tumblr](downmoonwrites)

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](downmoonwrites.tumblr.com)   
>  [twitter](https://twitter.com/dyefighter)


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